Lessons learned so far: Teaching

1. Always have handfuls of activity ideas that can be applied to practically any subject. Because standing there on a day when the assembly is canceled, with 15-30 minutes to spare and no actual activity planned for this slot of time is really awkward. (Bonus tidbit: "Quiz, Quiz, Trade" is an almost entirely fool proof back-up trick)

2. No plan is fool proof.

3. Put homework instructions at the beginning of  class. Fire alarms go off frequently

4. You can't hear the fire alarm. They're working on that. It makes you look really bad, though.

5. Junior high students are generally incapable of thinking of cause and effect if it extends beyond the next 30 seconds. You have to put a pair of consequences in place for them, one that happens in the next 30 seconds, and the real one.

6. Junior high students do not believe there are consequences for anything. And if there are, they are for other people. Especially other junior high students.

7. If a junior high student was told that he must stop talking, or his dominant hand would be cut off, there would be a lot of new lefties in the world, and a few new righties. (Please refer to lessons 5 and 6)

8. You don't have to read every piece of homework.

9. You cannot be a private tutor to every student in the class, during class. You have to make it worth their while to take instruction as a group, partly by stepping up the entertainment value, and partly by letting them learn the hard lessons a few times.

10. Junior high students have extremely short memories. It means that when things didn't go right in a lesson, the next day is nearly entirely a clean slate.

11. There are 2 kinds of trouble-makers: The attention-seekers and the power seekers.

12. Catch the attention seekers doing right, give them special jobs so that you can praise them.
Give the power seekers duties. If that doesn't work, get them out of the room long enough for you to get the rest of the class in the right rhythm so power isn't as easy to seize.

13. Don't underestimate the power of choices. "You have the option to work cooperatively with your teammates, or be sent out and work on the same project alone. Please make the best decision." works WAAAAAY better than "Work with your team now."

14. Don't sit on chocolate chips. They melt.

15. Get a student aide. It's great.

16. Call parents. Early and often.

17. Never forget yard duty week.

18. Very few lessons will actually be able to be completed during Red Ribbon Week.

19. Ask a lot of questions, in class and out.

20. Don't tell the kids there are dead bodies in the filing room that connects your room to 2 other classrooms. It really bothers them when the lights go on in there and silhouettes start moving around silently behind the frosted window.

Gluten free: Elephant Bar Update

I have noticed that many people are searching on Google for "Gluten Free Elephant Bar" and they keep finding my old post. Elephant Bar is a place that changes their menu and dishes often, so my old post is out dated.

More recently, the Elephant Bar has placed 2 gluten free options on their regular menu: Fire-Grilled Lemon Garlic Chicken Breast, and Fire-Grilled Rainbow Trout. These are found somewhere near the back of the menu. I had the chicken last time. It was very good. You'll have to ask someone else about the fish, as I really do not like fish.

As they state on their  menu, you should definitely let them know about your sensitivity so that they can take special precautions.

Also, make sure your information is up to date. What is gluten free at the Elephant Bar today (January 4, 2013) may not be gluten free tomorrow, and I am in no way affiliated with Elephant Bar, I don't have the inside track, and I am not a doctor. Make sure you are doing what is best for you.

Proverbs 14:1

The wise woman builds her house,

but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Happy New Year.

 

Out of reach

He's gone.
Well, not really.
He's still out there. He still exists.

Alok circa age 5-6

I'm just not his sponsor any more. Alok's project was closed, due to issues that did not align with Compassion's policies. He is out of my reach. The little reach that I had.

During the waiting period after finding out that it was likely to happen, I wrote Alok many "last letters" saying things that I wanted to make sure someone would tell him at least one more time in his life.

He may stay a little boy forever in my mind, but it would make me happiest to believe he grew up, that those few years he had were enough to direct him into a lifetime of growing up.


His pictures are still displayed on my wall. It makes me sad to think that there will be no more infrequent letters to update me on his life, no new picture in a year, showing his awkward growth spurt, and his determined face, and he will no longer receive letters telling him how much I love his determination, how handsome he is, or Christmas or birthday presents. Losing Alok is something I have been preparing myself to handle for a while now, but there are those pangs of sadness, those moments when I find the perfect little gift for him, or start mentally writing him a letter.

But he is not dead. It is weird, mourning the loss of someone who is still alive. Probably, to many minds, weirder still to mourn the loss of someone who has never been mine to lose. It's not something I really could explain anyway. I have no rights to him, no ability to protect him, but from the first day his picture appeared on my account, he has always been "my boy" complete with scuffed knees, and brief letters.

He was the first child to ever call me Auntie. He did so on a video that a fellow sponsor took of him when she was in India and took him to a science museum.

He was so thrilled by the museum. Alok was entranced by the aquarium. Every time I visit a museum, I wish he was there with me.

He once told me that his favorite thing about being at the Compassion project was the food, the games, and that no one beat him there. It relieved and broke my heart all at once.

The first real smile I got from him in a picture was with the second soccer ball he got as a gift from me. Ever since then, I've had this mental picture of him tearing up the dirt after his soccer ball full speed and determination, getting coated in dirt, earning those knee scuffs.

I'll miss my boy. I miss him already. I keep praying for him. I pray that God will wrap around him tightly, and protect him. I pray that Alok will passionately love and serve God. I pray that he will treat women with kindness and respect. I pray that he will not be taken in by the alcohol addictions so rampant in his area. I pray that God will protect him and comfort him beyond any beatings he may still endure.

He is out of my reach, but never out of God's. That is one of the hardest things to remember about life in general. It's easier to remember when it is the only option to accept.






Alok, never forget that you are valuable. God values you. I value you. You are loved and so very loveable. I pray that there are so many more in your life who feel the same way.











 Play hard, my boy. Grow up strong, Alok.

Grow up kind and godly. Grow up wise and filled with integrity. Grow up compassionate and inspired.

Most of all, keep growing up.

Thank you for your sponsorship of Alok Nath

"Our staff in East India recently indicated that the child development center Alok attends has not been able to meet all of Compassion's standards for ministering to children in need. We've been working to address these issues over the last 90 days, but have yet to come to a resolve. However, we are hopeful that we will come to a resolution in the next 60 days."
From the moment I read the "Thank you for your sponsorship of Alok"  my heart creaked, crackled, and warned of breakage. Some of you may remember that I have known in my spirit that Alok's center has been at risk for a long time. Recently, they were showing strides of improving, more recently, however I noticed they seemed to be falling back to old habits a little more.
I want Compassion to be careful with our money, I want them to insure that only projects that are running properly are being allow to stay in Compassion. If they close Alok's project, I know that it was not for lack of trying to save it first, and I think that is the best action, if it comes to that.

However.

My Alok.

My sweet boy.

The one who has a smile, but rarely uses it.

Who plays soccer, and studies hard.

The boy my heart wraps around.

My most difficult sponsorship yet.

What will he do? Where will he go? The project is so remote, if it closes, I doubt he can be transferred to a new one.

I pray they can get staff who are willing to lead the project Compassion's way, with God and love as their fuel and fire. I pray that no matter what, God will shelter Alok Nath.

             I received this beautiful smiling picture of Alok a few months ago, I had been waiting to share it until I could write a blog about it.

I need to write a preemptive farewell letter to Alok, now, just in case.

If it closes, Alok and I will be on the opposite sides of the world, sharing broken hearts.

My Favorite Frown

(this post was originally written May 20, 2011, but I had written it on OurCompassion.org and I really wanted to have this on my blog, to keep Alok's story fluid)

A while ago, I sent 2 "just because" presents on the same day, one for Abigail in Ghana, and one for Alok in East India.  For those who don't remember, Ghana is really fast about responding.  Today, I got a thank you letter and a photo for the gift from one of the kids.  At the first instant, my brain could not reconcile why a picture of Alok had been attached to Abigail's letter, and then it all clicked to together, and I realized, Alok's thank you note actually beat Abigail's!  Amazing!
I sent the gift with a note that a small portion should be used to buy Alok something that would delight him, and I gave a few suggestions of ideas. Can anyone guess which item he chose for his fun item?  It shouldn't be hard!

"Thank you so much for you precious and beautiful gift. I was so happy when I got it. By your gift money I have bought... one pairs of pants and a shirt, sneakers, sweats, and one football."

Which item do we think he considers "precious" and "beautiful"? Is there any doubt? (Notice, there's still an opaque plastic bag, but this time, it's underneath the items, instead of vice versa! I'm fine with that.  Also, just look at how gangly he's getting! My square little 5 year old is growing up into a gangly 8 year old!)

Yes, his face is still frowning. It's a rare picture of Alok that catches him smiling. Honestly, I have come to love that frown of his, because he is such a serious little one.  This photo is my favorite frown however, because I know that later his brow will be furrowed with determination, and dripping with sweat, as he takes his beautiful new football out and plays every boy in the neighborhood. Later, when he clambers home as the sun sets, stinky, dusty and satisfied, he'll tuck that ball safely away near his sleeping mat before going to bed, and the ball will remind him, "My auntie loves me." 

And to me, having Alok know he is loved is better than any smiling photo.


(Addition: A several months later, a picture arrived of him with his soccer ball and a grin. Bonus!)

Grins look good on him, too

Putting Roots Down

In life, it seems one of the most regular and necessary lessons to needing to be learned is that you need to learn to grow where you are planted. I have spent a lot of time studying that particular lesson, and I have come to the conclusion that it's not likely I'll ever be an oak, as those are plants that tend to put down roots in one place and grow in that one place until they die.

My life seems to lean towards a more mobile style of growth. What kind of plant that makes me, I'm not exactly sure, and I'm not sure I really want to find out. That might ruin the fun of growing. What I do know is that during all this time I have been working on learning on growing where I am planted, I really have not had much of a chance to plant where I'm growing.

 

This home in the trailer is the first time in 8 years that I have had a space that is mine enough to invest the effort, time, money, and patience required to make plants grow. Lately, I have been playing in the dirt, and loving it! The color and life that greets me as I pull into my driveway brightens my spirits every time. The soil here is rather neglected. In fact, when digging in the sand, soil, gravel mix that is behind my trailer, I am always afraid that when it dries, I will return to accidental pavement!

Because of the state of the soil, and the flexible nature of the place I live, I've invested most of my time and plants into pots. This allows me to move the plants whenever the environment changes (for example, my neighbor got a larger trailer, turning one of my "full sun" areas into a "mostly dark" area).

Some of my seedlings are coming up beautifully. For any of you who are more of the "instant gratification" sort than the "patience is its own reward" sort, plant sunflowers! I think I probably would have gone mad waiting for my other seedlings to show if the sunflower seedlings had not sprung up so quickly. Seriously, I think I checked the dirt at least 3 times a day starting on the day I planted the seeds. Being accustomed to horticultural failure, I planted lots of seeds.  Surprisingly, a majority of the sunflower seeds came up...which made spacing the seedlings into quite an interesting event. If everything goes as I hope, I will have decorative sunflowers beaming at me from all corners of my little lot of dirt. The California poppies on the, other hand, I've seen 3 so far, and I killed one. I hear they are hardy little plants, but I guess you have to let them do their own thing.

A special thanks must go out to my friend Judy, who sent me home with several terra cotta pots, which hold the respected place of the-only-pots-I-own-that-aren't-plastic! Also, to my Dad who keeps providing with the tools I need to make things a little easier, and gave me the only half of my genetics that stand a chance at not killing the plants.

So, my nails are dirty, my plot of dirt looks like I live here, and it makes me happy. This is one of those little things in my life that please me greatly right now.

I may be in a temporary life stage right now, but at least I can put some roots down somewhere!

Thanks for reading.