A while ago, I had put myself on a "wish list fast", because I had found that all of my prayers seemed to be little more than a grocery list for God to fulfill. What I needed was a stint of time where I didn't ask God to give me things and fix my life, but instead thanked him for what he was doing, and asked only for guidance.
Toward the end of last year, I felt that God had given me permission to try something new: "Ask, and then wait."
I have a tendency to request something from God and then go out and work myself into exasperation trying to attain it. I am a lot like Abraham's wife, Sarah. I find myself trying to help hurry God along in his promises.
So, on the corner of my blue dry erase board I wrote, "Dear God, I would really like a home please." I left it up on the corner for two months of nervous waiting.
Then God provided me with a trailer: an affordable, and generally nice, just right for me space.
Once moved into my trailer, living on my suddenly very small income, I came to a pressing realization: I needed a job. The possibilities looked very bleak.
God must have laughed. My dear, sweet, silly child... Wait.
He saw my need for reassurance, though, and he had compassion on my frail heart.
It had been stormy all week, and on the night before my birthday, I fantasized to myself, "I would really love it if the sun would shine for my birthday."
My birthday was beautifully shiny day. I grinned and thought it was a wonderful coincidence. Dear, sweet, silly child. Wait.
I thought to myself as I went about the morning, "I would really like to treat myself to frozen yogurt from Yogurtland." But the day got busy, and I didn't have time to stop.
I had to go to my parents' house, and on the way over, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up something for my mom. At the register there was a display of Hostess Cupcakes. Maybe you don't know this, but before I went gluten free, Hostess Cupcakes were my cigarettes...it was like a 3 pack a day habit. I lingered on the thought of, "What I wouldn't give for a Hostess Cupcake!" as I made my purchase.
Not more than 5 minutes later, I walked into my parents' house. Mom led me to the kitchen, where 18 home made, gluten free Hostess Cupcake mock-ups (complete with the white swirl of icing on top) were sitting on the counter waiting for me. They were excellent! I heard myself repeating, "I was just wishing for these!" What a crazy coincidence.
Dear, sweet, silly child. Wait.
Basking in the glory of my surprise, I got a call from my friend Laura. She asked if she could meet me, because she had a treat for me. She came to my parents' house.
Her gift? A bowl of Yogurtland frozen yogurt. She said apologetically, "I hope you like the flavors I chose, I sort of guessed." Laura happened to guess my two absolute favorite flavors: Red Velvet Cake Batter, and Rootbeer Float.
What a coincidence. Silly child.
This story may seem pointless to you, but it was very special to me. I didn't realize the impact it would have on me as it was happening. The moments were just happy little events as they were happening.
As I drove home, pondering in the silence of the car, I felt God's knowing smile as all connected. I had three small wishes for my day. All three were things I could easily live without, but God coordinated them for me before I had even managed to desire them that day.
God cares enough for me to pull something special together, to give me a day where the frivolous, childish desires of my heart were fulfilled, not because I needed those things, but because He wanted to show me that he is into the details. I needed his reminder that he hears all the desires of my heart, the frivolous ones, too.
I felt like the card attached to the day said,
"Happy Birthday, dear one! I love you and you are very special to me. If you think that was great, wait until I get to the important stuff! Love, God."
I know that we spend our whole lives hearing about how God will provide for us, but like the Israelites in the desert, I tend to need a lot of reminding. This was enough. I still didn't have a job at the end of the day, and honestly, I didn't know how ends were going to meet, but the panic was gone. I was reassured that however it was going to happen, God is good at the details and He cares about my frail heart.
Less than a month later, a job came pounding on my front door, and when I tried to bolt the door, God was kind enough to place a friend there to throw the door open for me. The job fits my needs perfectly right now, and it showed up at just the right time (not a second sooner). The best part is, God's provision doesn't stop here. It doesn't stop at finding me a new home, or landing me a job.
In the long view of things, those details are insignificant, and I feel loved because God takes care of the insignificant things for me, too.
It is often hard for me trust God to give me what I feel is important. I fight and wear myself out trying to do His job for Him so he can give me what I want RIGHT NOW.
I really just need to remember to ask, stand back... and Wait.
Toward the end of last year, I felt that God had given me permission to try something new: "Ask, and then wait."
I have a tendency to request something from God and then go out and work myself into exasperation trying to attain it. I am a lot like Abraham's wife, Sarah. I find myself trying to help hurry God along in his promises.
So, on the corner of my blue dry erase board I wrote, "Dear God, I would really like a home please." I left it up on the corner for two months of nervous waiting.
Then God provided me with a trailer: an affordable, and generally nice, just right for me space.
Once moved into my trailer, living on my suddenly very small income, I came to a pressing realization: I needed a job. The possibilities looked very bleak.
God must have laughed. My dear, sweet, silly child... Wait.
He saw my need for reassurance, though, and he had compassion on my frail heart.
It had been stormy all week, and on the night before my birthday, I fantasized to myself, "I would really love it if the sun would shine for my birthday."
My birthday was beautifully shiny day. I grinned and thought it was a wonderful coincidence. Dear, sweet, silly child. Wait.
I thought to myself as I went about the morning, "I would really like to treat myself to frozen yogurt from Yogurtland." But the day got busy, and I didn't have time to stop.
I had to go to my parents' house, and on the way over, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up something for my mom. At the register there was a display of Hostess Cupcakes. Maybe you don't know this, but before I went gluten free, Hostess Cupcakes were my cigarettes...it was like a 3 pack a day habit. I lingered on the thought of, "What I wouldn't give for a Hostess Cupcake!" as I made my purchase.
Not more than 5 minutes later, I walked into my parents' house. Mom led me to the kitchen, where 18 home made, gluten free Hostess Cupcake mock-ups (complete with the white swirl of icing on top) were sitting on the counter waiting for me. They were excellent! I heard myself repeating, "I was just wishing for these!" What a crazy coincidence.
Dear, sweet, silly child. Wait.
Basking in the glory of my surprise, I got a call from my friend Laura. She asked if she could meet me, because she had a treat for me. She came to my parents' house.
Her gift? A bowl of Yogurtland frozen yogurt. She said apologetically, "I hope you like the flavors I chose, I sort of guessed." Laura happened to guess my two absolute favorite flavors: Red Velvet Cake Batter, and Rootbeer Float.
What a coincidence. Silly child.
This story may seem pointless to you, but it was very special to me. I didn't realize the impact it would have on me as it was happening. The moments were just happy little events as they were happening.
As I drove home, pondering in the silence of the car, I felt God's knowing smile as all connected. I had three small wishes for my day. All three were things I could easily live without, but God coordinated them for me before I had even managed to desire them that day.
God cares enough for me to pull something special together, to give me a day where the frivolous, childish desires of my heart were fulfilled, not because I needed those things, but because He wanted to show me that he is into the details. I needed his reminder that he hears all the desires of my heart, the frivolous ones, too.
I felt like the card attached to the day said,
"Happy Birthday, dear one! I love you and you are very special to me. If you think that was great, wait until I get to the important stuff! Love, God."
I know that we spend our whole lives hearing about how God will provide for us, but like the Israelites in the desert, I tend to need a lot of reminding. This was enough. I still didn't have a job at the end of the day, and honestly, I didn't know how ends were going to meet, but the panic was gone. I was reassured that however it was going to happen, God is good at the details and He cares about my frail heart.
Less than a month later, a job came pounding on my front door, and when I tried to bolt the door, God was kind enough to place a friend there to throw the door open for me. The job fits my needs perfectly right now, and it showed up at just the right time (not a second sooner). The best part is, God's provision doesn't stop here. It doesn't stop at finding me a new home, or landing me a job.
In the long view of things, those details are insignificant, and I feel loved because God takes care of the insignificant things for me, too.
It is often hard for me trust God to give me what I feel is important. I fight and wear myself out trying to do His job for Him so he can give me what I want RIGHT NOW.
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