A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small.
The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated a whale could not
swallow a human; it was impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
The 20 year hovering
As many of you already know, we are approaching another end of the month reading update journal. That particular journal will probably be quite long, because so far, I have managed to read 7 books. Before anyone gets too excited, I must warn you that 2 of them were from the young adults section, and one is an American Girl book, but as I said at the beginning of this challenge, the level doesn't matter. A book is a book no matter what the age of the intended reader, thus it was written to be read. You will get to read about those other books later. This journal, however, I would like to dedicate to one special book.
I guess you can call it the ultimate hover book. If you thought the 5 year hover of The Tale of Two Cities was outrageous, then grab your pitchfork, and light a torch, because this other hover book has been there for four times as long.
My parents bought it for me after I was able to fluently read a real sentence. I have read through sections of it on and off, but I never really felt obligated to read it all. The middle was my favorite part, the end (yes, I skipped ahead) was my least favorite, and for a few years, I had the introductory chapters memorized. My first copy wore out and has since been replaced with multiple other copies.
Last year, I held my most recent copy of the ultimate hover book, and was startled to realize that I could not be absolutely sure I had fully read it. If there was someone who could give an absolute answer, I would have laid a bet that I had read at least 94% of it. After 20 years of rifling through its pages, the thought of not having read every page was quite disturbing.
I set out a schedule, divided up the chapters, which I loosely followed. I will admit, it was really hard to follow sometimes. Sometimes, I procrastinated many days before returning to my scheduled chapters. Some chapters were really complex, others were really disturbing, while still others were incredibly boring, seemingly redundant, and a small percentage were sedately familiar. I have tried reading it entirely in other phases of my life, and failed.
Most of you have probably already guessed the book by now. In Autumn of last year, I started actively reading with a goal of reading it entirely (I would guess September), and yesterday, on Resurrection Sunday, I read the last chapters on the schedule, concluding my first, unabridged reading of the Bible.
When I looked at my schedule yesterday morning, I realized, I only had two days' worth of readings left. I read the first days' scheduled chapters, but I was too close to success, and it was such an appropriate day, that I did not have the self-control to wait until today.
Please understand, this is a happy dance, not a "my sash has more badges than yours" show. I was almost too ashamed to admit that this is my first time, considering that I have had my own copy since I was 5 (complete with a pink cover, silver pages, and beautiful illustrations). As I said before, I have attempted multiple times before, and failed predictably. Like a child learning to walk, I had tried, but was simply not ready, and each failure prepared me better for the next attempt.
With all of that said, what do I think about this particular read? Well, forgive me if I do not overly criticize the author, as I have with some other book reviews.
Honestly, there were fewer passages than I had expected that were completely new to me. What really caught me was how very linked the passages were. The story of Jael driving a tent stake through a man's temple is difficult to connect to the story of Jesus feeding the multitudes when they are separated for individual commentary. When read as a whole, the threads of God's providence, love, redemption, ingenuity, mercy, justice, wisdom and purposes lace together into a common, sturdy chain that eventually becomes glaringly obvious.
Another thing that struck me throughout the Bible was that the motives in God's commands were never that his people should look pretty, or live complacently. His commands were for actions, often unpleasant actions, but actions based on faith. He never intended for his people to be porcelain dolls to be set somewhere on a shelf, dusted and admired. His people, on the other hand, are constantly building they own "shelves" for their porcelain lives. His people often mistake "chosen" with the word "pampered" and get upset when God gives them rather painful vocabulary lessons. We were not chosen for useless preening. We were chosen to glorify God through faithful actions and motives.
At the end of this reading journey, when I first sat down to write this blog, the only thing I could come up with was "holy cow!" but I didn't feel like that would be an appropriate or detailed enough entry. I was also concerned that someone might think that the end result of me reading through the Bible was a conversion to Hinduism, if I started with such a remark.
Truly, the thoughts there are to think in response to all those chapters I have read over the past several months are just overwhelming in both variety and number. There are a few specific books within the Bible that I feel I need to go back and reread several times consecutively, so I can better understand the individual books, and really be able to focus on the theme of that particular book in the Bible.
Was it worth the read? Definitely, I'm planning on doing it again. There is so much more I need to know. I am so fortunate to have this book available to me, and I should take better advantage of it.
It is time for me to reset my bookmarks and start again. Referring back to my earlier simile, it is not enough for a child to take one step. Everyone rejoices for the first step, but if that is all that ever happens, if that child never takes another step, never chooses a direction, never moves on his own accord, then that first step is a futile effort.
I guess you can call it the ultimate hover book. If you thought the 5 year hover of The Tale of Two Cities was outrageous, then grab your pitchfork, and light a torch, because this other hover book has been there for four times as long.
My parents bought it for me after I was able to fluently read a real sentence. I have read through sections of it on and off, but I never really felt obligated to read it all. The middle was my favorite part, the end (yes, I skipped ahead) was my least favorite, and for a few years, I had the introductory chapters memorized. My first copy wore out and has since been replaced with multiple other copies.
Last year, I held my most recent copy of the ultimate hover book, and was startled to realize that I could not be absolutely sure I had fully read it. If there was someone who could give an absolute answer, I would have laid a bet that I had read at least 94% of it. After 20 years of rifling through its pages, the thought of not having read every page was quite disturbing.
I set out a schedule, divided up the chapters, which I loosely followed. I will admit, it was really hard to follow sometimes. Sometimes, I procrastinated many days before returning to my scheduled chapters. Some chapters were really complex, others were really disturbing, while still others were incredibly boring, seemingly redundant, and a small percentage were sedately familiar. I have tried reading it entirely in other phases of my life, and failed.
Most of you have probably already guessed the book by now. In Autumn of last year, I started actively reading with a goal of reading it entirely (I would guess September), and yesterday, on Resurrection Sunday, I read the last chapters on the schedule, concluding my first, unabridged reading of the Bible.
When I looked at my schedule yesterday morning, I realized, I only had two days' worth of readings left. I read the first days' scheduled chapters, but I was too close to success, and it was such an appropriate day, that I did not have the self-control to wait until today.
Please understand, this is a happy dance, not a "my sash has more badges than yours" show. I was almost too ashamed to admit that this is my first time, considering that I have had my own copy since I was 5 (complete with a pink cover, silver pages, and beautiful illustrations). As I said before, I have attempted multiple times before, and failed predictably. Like a child learning to walk, I had tried, but was simply not ready, and each failure prepared me better for the next attempt.
With all of that said, what do I think about this particular read? Well, forgive me if I do not overly criticize the author, as I have with some other book reviews.
Honestly, there were fewer passages than I had expected that were completely new to me. What really caught me was how very linked the passages were. The story of Jael driving a tent stake through a man's temple is difficult to connect to the story of Jesus feeding the multitudes when they are separated for individual commentary. When read as a whole, the threads of God's providence, love, redemption, ingenuity, mercy, justice, wisdom and purposes lace together into a common, sturdy chain that eventually becomes glaringly obvious.
Another thing that struck me throughout the Bible was that the motives in God's commands were never that his people should look pretty, or live complacently. His commands were for actions, often unpleasant actions, but actions based on faith. He never intended for his people to be porcelain dolls to be set somewhere on a shelf, dusted and admired. His people, on the other hand, are constantly building they own "shelves" for their porcelain lives. His people often mistake "chosen" with the word "pampered" and get upset when God gives them rather painful vocabulary lessons. We were not chosen for useless preening. We were chosen to glorify God through faithful actions and motives.
At the end of this reading journey, when I first sat down to write this blog, the only thing I could come up with was "holy cow!" but I didn't feel like that would be an appropriate or detailed enough entry. I was also concerned that someone might think that the end result of me reading through the Bible was a conversion to Hinduism, if I started with such a remark.
Truly, the thoughts there are to think in response to all those chapters I have read over the past several months are just overwhelming in both variety and number. There are a few specific books within the Bible that I feel I need to go back and reread several times consecutively, so I can better understand the individual books, and really be able to focus on the theme of that particular book in the Bible.
Was it worth the read? Definitely, I'm planning on doing it again. There is so much more I need to know. I am so fortunate to have this book available to me, and I should take better advantage of it.
It is time for me to reset my bookmarks and start again. Referring back to my earlier simile, it is not enough for a child to take one step. Everyone rejoices for the first step, but if that is all that ever happens, if that child never takes another step, never chooses a direction, never moves on his own accord, then that first step is a futile effort.
Friday, April 22, 2011
The Wind Hole...
Things have a way of happening. As my acupuncturist has said, "It seems to me, you are always having an adventure!" That could be partially my fault. I do have the tendency to approach life in a haphazard sort of way. Sometimes, however, it really just is that these things just have a way of stalking me. Fortunately, while my stories tend to entail extremes, so far, they have also always included survival, and they usually include a dash of irony.
Monday night, for example, the street light under which I had parked my car went out. This was only a small occurrence, until an opportunistic person happened by my car sitting in the dark corner of a parking lot, in a secluded area. This person broke into my car by smashing my rear, driver's side window.
Let me explain something: I drive a 1997 Ford escort. I believe it was a company car before I had it, because it has the bare minimum appliances. It has an FM radio... and you cannot even remove the FM radio to upgrade it to something with a CD player (or a cassette player, please?). If the manual says "item optional" we can safely assume that my car does not have it. My car also has a dent in the rear of the trunk, and a scuff on the side. The fabric ceiling is slowly sagging towards the seats. It is filthy. No one in their right mind would look at my car and think: Wow, I could really make bank by breaking into that!
Guess what this opportunistic person stole. He left the DC Talk, Chris Rice, KJ-52, Chris Tomlin CDs on the floor. He left to gym towel and the Apples-to-Apples. He even left the blue-tooth ear piece, and the emergency $20. Yes, that was really everything that was of any value in my car. This panicked person rummaged my glove box, stole the change from my ash tray, and my unfinished sewing project. Let me just say this, I'm a little ticked about the sewing project. It was a project I had created without a pattern, and it had taken me about 7 hours to get where I was with it. It was about 2 hours from being finished, and it was going to be featured on this blog, eventually. As sad as I am about having to start from scratch with that project, I have to laugh when I think about the person making a mad dash away from my car, finally stopping to inspect the pile of fabric which I can only assume he expected to be a purse, and realizing that not only is there nothing in it, it doesn't even have finished seams or a zipper yet.
So, my friends and I went to In N Out, where I had my favorite In N Out meal, with a root beer float. Merida graciously allowed me to sleep on her floor that evening (I was not in town), and Rachel took me to buy a temporary window repair kit (AKA a plastic bag and duct tape). I had to retape it 5 minutes into my drive home, because the plastic ripped out and it started to rain, which resulted in me using the entire roll of duct tape to repair the plastic. After the plastic was repaired, it stopped raining. The 107 mile drive home was really long this time! Did you know that the English word for "window" came from the contraction of the words "wind hole." As it turns out, without the glass, a window really does become a wind hole.
I am glad to say that the window is now repaired, just before the storm clouds began creeping into Bakersfield. Hurrah for not being rained on! Hurrah for not having to listen to the raging plastic as I drive! Hurrah for quick repairs and new windows.
So, this could have been far worse. I am thankful that nothing of great value was taken, and that they did not slash my seats after realizing there was nothing of value in it. I am thankful that I am in a position to fix the window without calculating which meals to miss next month. Sometimes things happen. I am glad they happened in a way that didn't hurt too badly.
Dear opportunistic, over-zealous craft thief:
I hope you enjoy the $1.50 you found in the ash tray. Please know that it cost me $135 to replace the window... next time, please just ask, and I'll take you to lunch at a nearby food place, which will cost way more than $1.50. I do think, however, that it was a little spiteful to keep the unfinished project rather than throwing it in the nearby bushes where I could have recovered it. If you need help finishing it, make sure you sew the zipper in between the shell and the lining, sewing all 3 layers at once, so it will be pretty inside and out, and choose a durable strap material so that purse snatchers will have a more difficult time taking it from you. Also, I forgot to sew the outer pocket closed...have fun with that, you'll need to hand stitch it.
Happy Easter, craft snatcher. I hope you can find a more legal and beneficial way to solve your financial problems. Jesus loves you.
Sincerely,
The girl with a new window, and a trip to the fabric store on the to-do list again.
Monday night, for example, the street light under which I had parked my car went out. This was only a small occurrence, until an opportunistic person happened by my car sitting in the dark corner of a parking lot, in a secluded area. This person broke into my car by smashing my rear, driver's side window.
Let me explain something: I drive a 1997 Ford escort. I believe it was a company car before I had it, because it has the bare minimum appliances. It has an FM radio... and you cannot even remove the FM radio to upgrade it to something with a CD player (or a cassette player, please?). If the manual says "item optional" we can safely assume that my car does not have it. My car also has a dent in the rear of the trunk, and a scuff on the side. The fabric ceiling is slowly sagging towards the seats. It is filthy. No one in their right mind would look at my car and think: Wow, I could really make bank by breaking into that!
Guess what this opportunistic person stole. He left the DC Talk, Chris Rice, KJ-52, Chris Tomlin CDs on the floor. He left to gym towel and the Apples-to-Apples. He even left the blue-tooth ear piece, and the emergency $20. Yes, that was really everything that was of any value in my car. This panicked person rummaged my glove box, stole the change from my ash tray, and my unfinished sewing project. Let me just say this, I'm a little ticked about the sewing project. It was a project I had created without a pattern, and it had taken me about 7 hours to get where I was with it. It was about 2 hours from being finished, and it was going to be featured on this blog, eventually. As sad as I am about having to start from scratch with that project, I have to laugh when I think about the person making a mad dash away from my car, finally stopping to inspect the pile of fabric which I can only assume he expected to be a purse, and realizing that not only is there nothing in it, it doesn't even have finished seams or a zipper yet.
So, my friends and I went to In N Out, where I had my favorite In N Out meal, with a root beer float. Merida graciously allowed me to sleep on her floor that evening (I was not in town), and Rachel took me to buy a temporary window repair kit (AKA a plastic bag and duct tape). I had to retape it 5 minutes into my drive home, because the plastic ripped out and it started to rain, which resulted in me using the entire roll of duct tape to repair the plastic. After the plastic was repaired, it stopped raining. The 107 mile drive home was really long this time! Did you know that the English word for "window" came from the contraction of the words "wind hole." As it turns out, without the glass, a window really does become a wind hole.
I am glad to say that the window is now repaired, just before the storm clouds began creeping into Bakersfield. Hurrah for not being rained on! Hurrah for not having to listen to the raging plastic as I drive! Hurrah for quick repairs and new windows.
So, this could have been far worse. I am thankful that nothing of great value was taken, and that they did not slash my seats after realizing there was nothing of value in it. I am thankful that I am in a position to fix the window without calculating which meals to miss next month. Sometimes things happen. I am glad they happened in a way that didn't hurt too badly.
Dear opportunistic, over-zealous craft thief:
I hope you enjoy the $1.50 you found in the ash tray. Please know that it cost me $135 to replace the window... next time, please just ask, and I'll take you to lunch at a nearby food place, which will cost way more than $1.50. I do think, however, that it was a little spiteful to keep the unfinished project rather than throwing it in the nearby bushes where I could have recovered it. If you need help finishing it, make sure you sew the zipper in between the shell and the lining, sewing all 3 layers at once, so it will be pretty inside and out, and choose a durable strap material so that purse snatchers will have a more difficult time taking it from you. Also, I forgot to sew the outer pocket closed...have fun with that, you'll need to hand stitch it.
Happy Easter, craft snatcher. I hope you can find a more legal and beneficial way to solve your financial problems. Jesus loves you.
Sincerely,
The girl with a new window, and a trip to the fabric store on the to-do list again.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Test me
Today, I am taking the CBEST at 8 am. That's the test that will allow me to get into a credentialing program, and also opens the opportunity for me to be a substitute teacher.
I have looked at the sample test. It doesn't look very scary. In fact, it looks pretty basic. I hope that I am right about this. The nice thing about this situation is that even if I do fail it, I am still eligible to enter a credentialing program. California law only states that the test has to be taken, it does not require you to pass in order to enter a program. However, as tests are expensive, and quite honestly, quite inconvenient, I dearly would love to pass all the subjects the first time, especially since it has to be passed eventually.
So, if you happen to be reading this before 8AM-12 PM PST, please feel free to pray for amazing results. If you happen to be reading this after I should be finished, please understand that I am out somewhere enjoying myself, because I truly hate tests, and feel like I deserve a reward!
I have looked at the sample test. It doesn't look very scary. In fact, it looks pretty basic. I hope that I am right about this. The nice thing about this situation is that even if I do fail it, I am still eligible to enter a credentialing program. California law only states that the test has to be taken, it does not require you to pass in order to enter a program. However, as tests are expensive, and quite honestly, quite inconvenient, I dearly would love to pass all the subjects the first time, especially since it has to be passed eventually.
So, if you happen to be reading this before 8AM-12 PM PST, please feel free to pray for amazing results. If you happen to be reading this after I should be finished, please understand that I am out somewhere enjoying myself, because I truly hate tests, and feel like I deserve a reward!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Funny Thursday
This joke entertained me.
Know the Rules
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500," figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn.
She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and the turns to go back to sleep.
Know the Rules
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500," figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn.
She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and the turns to go back to sleep.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Best hi-jack, ever.
It all started a few Sundays ago. I was on my way to my church when my mom told Melody to text me and let me know that it was mission Sunday at their church. Mission Sunday is one of my favorite days of the year, and my parents' church(the one I spent my teen years in), usually invites a missionary to give the sermon. I was running late for my own church service, and my parents' church was much closer, and if I changed route right then, I could also pick up a cup of coffee...something I desperately wanted.
The speaker was great. Afterward there was a luncheon held by the high school group to support their upcoming mission trip to Guatemala. I enjoyed socializing with the people I used to see every Sunday. During one of the conversations, Joy(a person I am quite fond of) asked me about my own mission plans. I explained that my plans had basically been dashed and all I really knew was that God was in charge, and I wanted to follow him where ever that was. I mentioned I had been researching a few organizations. Her husband, Jason (pastor of adult ministries) piped up that there was a conference coming up with World Impact, an organization I had been researching, and that they were having amazing speakers, it was about church planting, and I should come. I gave a non-committal answer. It was interesting, but the phrase "church-planting" had intimidated me.
Later, I was at Joy and Jason's house, and Jason asked if I had checked into that weekend. I mentioned that I was free that weekend, but I hadn't yet registered or decided to go.
Later, I was in the car with a friend when I got a phone call. It was Jason, he told me he was signing his wife up for the conference, and since it was already set up in front of him, he could just add me in if I liked. That sounds nice and passive, doesn't it? Tone says a lot. For example, by his tone, I had realized he was going to sign me up, and this was my phone call to let me know. I actually had suspected he had already signed me up, but I was not in the mood to prove it, and what could a conference hurt, anyway?
On the day of the conference, I showed up, pleased to be able to hop into the carpool going up to The Oaks. The drive there was beautiful.
The conference was amazing! First of all, when you walk in to register, you got your name tag, and then a bag, and in that goody bag were two books. Not just any two books: The Making of a Disciple by Dr. Keith Phillips, and Madness by Jossy Chacko. These two books had both recently been mentioned to me and they had caught my interest. I had intended, after finishing a few more books out of my room, to track these two books down. Here at the conference, 5 minutes after my morning coffee, they had been placed in my hand, and I didn't even have to wait for Amazon to load. This alone could have dubbed the weekend "happy" for me.
I looked at the schedule for the day.(Yes, I had managed to show up at a conference without knowing who would be speaking.) The speakers were: Jossy Chako, Bryan Cullison, Keith Phillips, and Francis Chan. If there were pineapple soft serve ice cream at the snack table, it would have been Disneyland!
Jossy Chacko is from India, and he has been working in the unreached areas of India. He discussed that church planting is more about witnessing to people, who in turn witness to people, and pretty soon, you have a huge number of new believers who need a church! The stories he shared were amazing! His organization is called Empart and the work God does through this organization is incredible. They train local believers to reach out, to be scripturally sound, they help start social services such as educational help and health education. They basically go into a community as an indigenous Christian, and respond to the individual communities needs.
Keith Phillips, founder of World Impact an organization that focuses on ministering in the most dangerous parts of inner-cities in America, discussed The Urban Institute, a school set up by World Impact to help train pastors from the community so that they know their doctrine. The problem with seminaries is that it is expensive to attend them, and so inner city pastors who want to be better educated for their congregation often do not get the opportunity. This is the reason The Urban Ministries Institute was set up. It provides an education equal to seminary, minus the Greek and Hebrew classes, and it is affordable, and open to any one (pastor or not) who wants to minister to the urban poor. They even set up satellite schools where they are wanted and have set up multiple satellites in prison, because there are inmates who are Christians who want to be better leaders. The prisons are a captive mission field, and there are Christians in there who could reach them, if given the proper training.
Bryan Cullison spoke next about the history and mechanics of social movements. It was incredibly interesting, but mostly statistics, which makes a summary hard to give. Even with the studies, strategies, statistics and history, he stressed that most importantly that for there to be a Christian movement, it must be with the Holy Spirit. There are no strategies that can fill the Holy Spirit's place.
Then Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love spoke. I was excited to hear him, because I have heard him speak on youtube. After this, however, I feel I definitely need to put Crazy Love on my reading list. Wow. His speech was titled "His Burden is Light?" and he talked about how often, we take the light burden Christ gives us, and we over think it, we try to take too much control back, and by having that tug of war with God, we make our own burdens heavier than they should be. We try to manipulate the uncomfortable scriptures, and make them say that we really don't have to do that extreme command. Rather than changing ourselves, too often we change our theology, when we should be submitting to God and his word. "We put the burden on ourselves, because we think we're failing. We're not letting God run it by taking that pressure on ourselves, by worrying ourselves. Guys... God's not worried!" Make sure your ministry is not about you. Serve out of thanksgiving, love, joy, and peace, not out of guilt or debt. Jesus' burden is light. Our burden weighs a lot more.
Here are some other quotes that stuck with me from that day:
"Let us quit chasing vanity and smoke! Let us live for eternity." -Jossy Chacko
"I said, 'Don't go, they'll kill you.' And he said to me, 'Did Jesus know what would happen when he came? He still came.'" Jossy Chacko (He was talking to a friend who had converted from Hinduism, had to go into hiding to be saved from his previous friends, and then after studying, decided to go back to his tribe to witness to them. They killed his wife, but he still stayed and witnessed, and finally the tribe came to Jesus. This man was not just flinging words around lightly)
"The success of the church is raising up indigenous disciples." Dr. Keith Phillips
"Satan is unwilling to concede a single inch! Why are we?"- Bryan Cullison (Talking about unreached peoples, noting that even if we had reached 99% of the current unreached peoples, with the 1% remaining, we still have no right to quit)
"I hear in other parts of the world, they actually take this book literally!" -Francis Chan, about the Bible
"You guys... just read the Bible!"- Francis Chan
"God's not sitting in heaven thinking, 'Oh! I hope they build me a temple!' God does not need us. We are not the givers. HE is the giver! We just get to be a part of his awesome plans."-Francis Chan
And those are just the summaries of 4 speeches exceeding an hour each. There was a worship service between each speech. It was amazing. It was great! It was overwhelming. Here I am, 4 days later, and I am still processing. It was so good for me. I am glad I got the opportunity to be there.
By the way, I was talking to Joy that day, and she confessed that Jason had signed me up before he called me. In Jason's defense, Joy had told him that I needed to be there, and he needed to convince me to go. However, Joy did have to advise Jason after he signed me up that he probably should tell me I was going, hence the phone call. That whole thing still makes me laugh. I am glad I have such pushy people who care for me. Left to my own devices, I likely would have missed this amazing event in exchange for doing absolutely nothing that Saturday. I could just see in my mind what might have happened if Jason had decided not to warn me. There would have been a doorbell at 6 am, and a "You've got 15 minutes to be in the car." I wouldn't put it past Jason to pull a hi-jacking rather than give me opportunity to come up with excuses.
I have been hi-jacked often in my life: into babysitting, hard labor, dates, long road trips, and all sorts of situations. So far, I think I enjoyed this "hi-jacking" the most!
This is a short, entertaining clip by Francis Chan. This was not from the conference I sat in. Francis Chan had a lot of serious stuff to say, but he had his equally funny moments. Enjoy!
The speaker was great. Afterward there was a luncheon held by the high school group to support their upcoming mission trip to Guatemala. I enjoyed socializing with the people I used to see every Sunday. During one of the conversations, Joy(a person I am quite fond of) asked me about my own mission plans. I explained that my plans had basically been dashed and all I really knew was that God was in charge, and I wanted to follow him where ever that was. I mentioned I had been researching a few organizations. Her husband, Jason (pastor of adult ministries) piped up that there was a conference coming up with World Impact, an organization I had been researching, and that they were having amazing speakers, it was about church planting, and I should come. I gave a non-committal answer. It was interesting, but the phrase "church-planting" had intimidated me.
Later, I was at Joy and Jason's house, and Jason asked if I had checked into that weekend. I mentioned that I was free that weekend, but I hadn't yet registered or decided to go.
Later, I was in the car with a friend when I got a phone call. It was Jason, he told me he was signing his wife up for the conference, and since it was already set up in front of him, he could just add me in if I liked. That sounds nice and passive, doesn't it? Tone says a lot. For example, by his tone, I had realized he was going to sign me up, and this was my phone call to let me know. I actually had suspected he had already signed me up, but I was not in the mood to prove it, and what could a conference hurt, anyway?
On the day of the conference, I showed up, pleased to be able to hop into the carpool going up to The Oaks. The drive there was beautiful.
The conference was amazing! First of all, when you walk in to register, you got your name tag, and then a bag, and in that goody bag were two books. Not just any two books: The Making of a Disciple by Dr. Keith Phillips, and Madness by Jossy Chacko. These two books had both recently been mentioned to me and they had caught my interest. I had intended, after finishing a few more books out of my room, to track these two books down. Here at the conference, 5 minutes after my morning coffee, they had been placed in my hand, and I didn't even have to wait for Amazon to load. This alone could have dubbed the weekend "happy" for me.
I looked at the schedule for the day.(Yes, I had managed to show up at a conference without knowing who would be speaking.) The speakers were: Jossy Chako, Bryan Cullison, Keith Phillips, and Francis Chan. If there were pineapple soft serve ice cream at the snack table, it would have been Disneyland!
Jossy Chacko is from India, and he has been working in the unreached areas of India. He discussed that church planting is more about witnessing to people, who in turn witness to people, and pretty soon, you have a huge number of new believers who need a church! The stories he shared were amazing! His organization is called Empart and the work God does through this organization is incredible. They train local believers to reach out, to be scripturally sound, they help start social services such as educational help and health education. They basically go into a community as an indigenous Christian, and respond to the individual communities needs.
Keith Phillips, founder of World Impact an organization that focuses on ministering in the most dangerous parts of inner-cities in America, discussed The Urban Institute, a school set up by World Impact to help train pastors from the community so that they know their doctrine. The problem with seminaries is that it is expensive to attend them, and so inner city pastors who want to be better educated for their congregation often do not get the opportunity. This is the reason The Urban Ministries Institute was set up. It provides an education equal to seminary, minus the Greek and Hebrew classes, and it is affordable, and open to any one (pastor or not) who wants to minister to the urban poor. They even set up satellite schools where they are wanted and have set up multiple satellites in prison, because there are inmates who are Christians who want to be better leaders. The prisons are a captive mission field, and there are Christians in there who could reach them, if given the proper training.
Bryan Cullison spoke next about the history and mechanics of social movements. It was incredibly interesting, but mostly statistics, which makes a summary hard to give. Even with the studies, strategies, statistics and history, he stressed that most importantly that for there to be a Christian movement, it must be with the Holy Spirit. There are no strategies that can fill the Holy Spirit's place.
Then Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love spoke. I was excited to hear him, because I have heard him speak on youtube. After this, however, I feel I definitely need to put Crazy Love on my reading list. Wow. His speech was titled "His Burden is Light?" and he talked about how often, we take the light burden Christ gives us, and we over think it, we try to take too much control back, and by having that tug of war with God, we make our own burdens heavier than they should be. We try to manipulate the uncomfortable scriptures, and make them say that we really don't have to do that extreme command. Rather than changing ourselves, too often we change our theology, when we should be submitting to God and his word. "We put the burden on ourselves, because we think we're failing. We're not letting God run it by taking that pressure on ourselves, by worrying ourselves. Guys... God's not worried!" Make sure your ministry is not about you. Serve out of thanksgiving, love, joy, and peace, not out of guilt or debt. Jesus' burden is light. Our burden weighs a lot more.
Here are some other quotes that stuck with me from that day:
"Let us quit chasing vanity and smoke! Let us live for eternity." -Jossy Chacko
"I said, 'Don't go, they'll kill you.' And he said to me, 'Did Jesus know what would happen when he came? He still came.'" Jossy Chacko (He was talking to a friend who had converted from Hinduism, had to go into hiding to be saved from his previous friends, and then after studying, decided to go back to his tribe to witness to them. They killed his wife, but he still stayed and witnessed, and finally the tribe came to Jesus. This man was not just flinging words around lightly)
"The success of the church is raising up indigenous disciples." Dr. Keith Phillips
"Satan is unwilling to concede a single inch! Why are we?"- Bryan Cullison (Talking about unreached peoples, noting that even if we had reached 99% of the current unreached peoples, with the 1% remaining, we still have no right to quit)
"I hear in other parts of the world, they actually take this book literally!" -Francis Chan, about the Bible
"You guys... just read the Bible!"- Francis Chan
"God's not sitting in heaven thinking, 'Oh! I hope they build me a temple!' God does not need us. We are not the givers. HE is the giver! We just get to be a part of his awesome plans."-Francis Chan
And those are just the summaries of 4 speeches exceeding an hour each. There was a worship service between each speech. It was amazing. It was great! It was overwhelming. Here I am, 4 days later, and I am still processing. It was so good for me. I am glad I got the opportunity to be there.
By the way, I was talking to Joy that day, and she confessed that Jason had signed me up before he called me. In Jason's defense, Joy had told him that I needed to be there, and he needed to convince me to go. However, Joy did have to advise Jason after he signed me up that he probably should tell me I was going, hence the phone call. That whole thing still makes me laugh. I am glad I have such pushy people who care for me. Left to my own devices, I likely would have missed this amazing event in exchange for doing absolutely nothing that Saturday. I could just see in my mind what might have happened if Jason had decided not to warn me. There would have been a doorbell at 6 am, and a "You've got 15 minutes to be in the car." I wouldn't put it past Jason to pull a hi-jacking rather than give me opportunity to come up with excuses.
I have been hi-jacked often in my life: into babysitting, hard labor, dates, long road trips, and all sorts of situations. So far, I think I enjoyed this "hi-jacking" the most!
This is a short, entertaining clip by Francis Chan. This was not from the conference I sat in. Francis Chan had a lot of serious stuff to say, but he had his equally funny moments. Enjoy!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The child I didn't choose
Let me tell you the basic story of Alok Nath. By March 2009, I had been sponsoring Liline for 6 months. Sponsoring her made me more aware of some of the more frivolous choices I made with my money. For example, everyday, on my way to the office, I bought a coffee from my favorite place, The Filling Station. I was surprised to realize that amount of money tallied by month could easily sponsor another child. This bothered me. I had thought about it for a few months before March had come. There were times when I wanted to blow these thoughts off. I like coffee. I hate working in offices, clearly that makes coffee mandatory, right? Other times I thought, well, I'll just stop drinking coffee, but then, that money I was spending, but had stopped spending was still being just as useless. I tried looking for a child to sponsor, but the second time through, I was just overwhelmed by the number of kids needing sponsors, and there did not seem to be a child who stood out to me. Finally, I called and told Compassion International to give me the kid who needed a sponsor most. And then waited... I don't know how long I waited. I think it was just a day. However long it was in hours, I am pretty sure the minutes could have been measured in years before a new child finally showed up on my Compassion account. I actually called Mom on my break and asked her to check my account for me, because there was no personal internet access at work, and I was not about to provide an opportunity for job loss. She said there was a new child there. He is 5 and from India: Alok Nath... While I am glad for Mom's willingness to read off the information to me, I think it made the rest of my work day longer. On the drive home I stopped at my family's house, because it was a 5 mile shorter drive to a computer than going all the way to my house! I quickly pulled up my account, and there was Alok Nath:
When I had tried to pick a child, I had probably scanned past his photo multiple times. Honestly, he was not a child who would have caught my eye, first, because he was 5. I generally leave the cute young ones to the other sponsors. I was excited to get to know my little man though, and had to adjust my writing for a 5 year old.
Scan forward to 7 months later. I had still not received a first letter from Alok. Having sponsored Liline for a year by this point, I knew that this was not normal. I called Compassion, and they sent an inquiry into the field. A month later, I received a jotted down version of a first letter from the project. I was not impressed, but I was hoping that it was just that someone had misplaced paperwork and were quickly covering their mistake.
Little did I know that Alok was going to be my "trouble child." Giving up the daily coffee was nothing compared to waiting so many months for each letter to appear, and with each letter, the information was so vague and contradicting. I knew that it was not Alok's fault, because he is just a child, he doesn't even write his own letters yet. It was the fault of the adults in charge. Something was wrong with his project. This, my friends, is not the normal way Compassion International is run, that is why I knew in my gut, something was wrong.
By the time a year had passed, I had sent Alok several financial gifts. According to Compassion rules, a sponsor should hear about the use of every gift they send. I had heard nothing. Finally, I called Compassion again and made my concerns known. Compassion agreed with my concerns and sent and inquiry into the field. A few months later, I received photographs of a few of the past gifts I had sent. Another rule about gifts is that every gift purchased with sponsor money must have a photo on file with the child in the photo to verify that the money is being used as it is supposed to. (though, a sponsor does not have to receive a photo) The items must be easily identified in the photo.
Again, my gut said, "Something is not right." Can you see the clothing that Alok bought with his birthday present? Me neither. All 3 of the photos of gifts that I was sent in response to my inquiry were packed this way, in opaque bags, or unlabeled cardboard boxes, all claiming to be clothing I cannot see. I think the photos were staged.
At this point many of you are wondering, why are you still sponsoring through Compassion?! I need to clarify. I have been sponsoring through Compassion International for three years now. Compassion is an honest charity that works hard to prove financial integrity, and puts many checks and balances in to make sure the projects are following their regulations. I sponsor three kids. Alok's situation was an anomaly. You may wonder why I did not drop Alok's sponsorship. Trust me, I thought about it. Then, I also thought about the fact that Alok is just a (at this point in the story) 6 year old boy. He is not the one making bad decisions. I realized that Alok, out of my 3 children, was the child who needed a sponsor the most. The other two had dependable projects they could turn to. It seemed that right now it was possible that Alok only had me as an advocate, and I could not bring myself to walk away from him. Somehow, without any real input on his part, I realized that I love Alok. Because of the correspondence relationship between sponsor and child, the sponsor is the first one to see warning signs.
This was when I became that annoying sponsor. I called Compassion about the photos, and explained that they were not right, that there is clearly something wrong with this project. The response I got over the phone was an instant fix, and all the problems were solved. Not quite. I was quite frustrated after the call. I did not feel that the Compassion representatives understood the seriousness of the situation I was placing before them.
Then, later I heard through the grapevine that a prayer request had gone out from somewhere inside the works of Compassion for two East Indian projects that were having a hard time finding "committed staff" and I knew in my heart(at least I really hoped), one of those projects was Alok's.
Then, I received another photo, this one of the most recent gift I had bought Alok's family. Opening the envelope, I had no real expectations of satisfaction. And then:
a murmur of hope stirred in my heart. Previously, every gift I had sent to Alok had been claimed to have been spent on clothing, no matter what the amount, and you saw one of the photos of "proof" of clothing. This photo, however, is not clothing! It is a watering pump for the family's crops! And it is not in an opaque plastic bag or wrong sized cardboard box. And that is Alok's family, smiling. I thought, maybe something is turning around in this project. Maybe it won't close soon. Maybe there is hope for Alok's future.
March 2011, Alok is 7 years old, and it was almost exactly 2 years after I sponsored him. I received a letter written on "My first letter" stationary. The information written on that letter is not vague like the correspondence of the past 2 years, it is detailed to the individual: family members' names and ages, his favorite color is green and his favorite food is rice dal. The prayer request dictated to the helper writing for Alok was this: Please pray for my family, and also pray for me so that I can complete my studies.
And suddenly, I wondered, during all this time I was worrying about whether the project was running correctly, was my little Alok seeing the misuse of funds and realizing his chance at an educated future--a future with more opportunities than his parents could have dreamed to want--was slipping through careless fingers? As alarming as it was to be on my side of this "project reform" it must have felt despairing to Alok, who was seeing it in person.
I was really hoping this second first letter as the new project staff's way of saying "let's wipe this slate clean, and do it right."
April 11, 2011, I found another letter from Alok. I need to make sure that you have not missed this in this long history of 2 years: I only receive a letter from Alok once every 4 months, if we are lucky. These two most recent letters, however are less that a month apart!
The letter was from a person who was listening to Alok tell them what to write. I know this because last year, an acquaintance of mine went to East India to meet her sponsored child, and offered to meet Alok as well.
She took him to a science museum, and bought him lunch and gave him gifts I had sent with her, and returned to me with stories, video and photos of the day. The letter I received from Alok yesterday was detailing Alok's opinion of the trip! He really enjoyed it, but he did not like the Pepsi, but he also feels sorry that he threw the Pepsi away. He had seen trains before, but he had never been able to ride one(He had to ride a train from his village to the city where he was meeting my friend).
I really feel like Compassion International has really managed to turn this project around. I am glad of this. I am not willing to say we are out of the woods just yet, because I know Compassion's process with below standard projects. First the project is warned, and then checked on again, if the issue is not fixed, they try retraining the project, getting new staff, whatever it takes to make the project live up to the integrity of Compassion's name. After many attempts, if the project is still failing whether due to lack of cooperation or lack of ability, the project is then closed. Compassion will try to move the kids into neighboring projects if there are any nearby, so that the children will not lose the benefits.
I am hoping and praying that Alok's project really has turned around, not only so the project will not close, but so that Alok can truly receive the benefits of being sponsored. Throughout the two years I have had with this boy, he is the child that I have been able to establish the least relationship with. Relationship is hard when communication is one way, but he is also the child who has gained a majority of my prayers, and the child my heart has wrapped itself tightly around. It is strange, I know that my girls are close to my heart as well. I even know that they are embraced much the same way Alok is, but because I have felt that Alok has needed it more in his silence, he has taken possession of a portion of my heart that neither of the girls have needed.
I love this boy that I never would have picked. I hope and pray he does far more than complete his studies!
Note: I just wanted to add this in- It may seem that there are a lot of negative things in this blog. This is not the ordinary experience with Compassion International, in fact, in the full length of this post, it is positive light on Compassion, as I am able to witness the work they put into taking care of children and making sure the projects are being honorable in this mission. Compassion International is a very worthwhile organization, and if you are wanting to help a child receive the basics of life so that they have the opportunity to break the cycle of poverty, this is the organization for you!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Feels like sacrilege
For those of you who don't know, the Borders bookstore here in town is closing. It happens to be my favorite book store. For a year, I worked at a restaurant in the same parking lot. Often, after work, I would trudge across the parking lot, immerse my fry-oil, burger scented soul in the soothing smell of books and relax in the library-like atmosphere.Call me melodramatic, nerdy, or lame if you like, but throughout my life, bookstores have been a sanctuary to me. This is probably because libraries have always been so far away. This bookstore, in particular, walking distance from the chaos of life, was my main sanctuary. Even though I no longer work in the same shopping center, on days when have I felt extremely burdened, I might have been found meandering through the aisles of books, where music plays softly in the background, people use hushed voices, every shelf is packed full of books in an orderly manner, cushioned seats are placed haphazardly through the store, the essence of coffee lingers in the background adding spice to the friendly scent of pages and glue, nobody looks at me strangely if I spend hours there, people rarely break through my thoughts for conversation, and when they do, the conversation is hushed, brief, and purposeful.
Finding myself in the same parking lot, with no agenda, I followed the pull to my bookstore, even though I knew it was liquidating. Before I even entered the store, I recognized a mayday cry in my soul. People were flooding in like seagulls to a burger shack. Bright red, orange, and yellow signs declared that "Everything must go!" I disregarded the warning signs, and entered anyway.
People rummaged through bookshelves like they were at a yard sale...worse: an estate sale. There were shelves that were completely stripped of their books, merchandise strewn across the floor. Everybody was hustling through like it was a competition. Nobody used a library voice as they called back and forth about this deal or that. People were wishing for shopping carts as they half-glanced at the covers of book and tossed them into their piles to purchase. The obnoxious liquidation signs were overwhelming(hence the reason I can have a gadzillion perspective shots on signs all saying the same thing). Books were no longer strictly in their sections, but mashed together with nearby sections as shelves started looking more bare.It felt so very wrong just watching. Can I call the cops to report a riot? A grave robbing? It was like witnessing a temple raid. It felt like at any moment, someone would commit some act of book sacrilege, maybe tear out a page of Victor Hugo to dispose of their bubble gum.
I know, I am being dramatic. To most of the world, it is just another business in decline. You will be happy to know that my inner turmoil did not reflect in my outward actions as I meandered, pretending the noisy, chaotic opportunists weren't ransacking my sanctuary. Honest: I did not lay down on the floor and cry, and I did not hit any one.
I selected two books for myself, according to my normal rules (Rule of Being Caitlin, #34: If at all possible, I should manage to leave the bookstore without spending more than $15, with a forgiveness clause of $2 for tax, or if I really want it), and got in line.
The line was delayed for a miserably long time by--I kid you not-- a woman trying to haggle better prices for her discounted items. Bakersfield, is there NOTHING sacred?
That's all. I just needed to bemoan the thrashing and destruction of a building that I have a sentimental(but, thankfully, not a monetary) investment in.
Maybe it is wrong to find such solace in a bookstore. You might think that a Christian should not seek spiritual downtime in a business establishment. Maybe, but I don't think finding a peaceful place--even if it is in a business-- is wrong. The only thing I see wrong in finding a sanctuary in a bookstore is this: you never know when the economy will collapse and kill it, and then invite the vultures to pick it apart.
And so, my fellow book lovers and Borders meanderers, if you understand my sadness, feel free to have a proper moment of silence with me.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Joke Thursday
Before we get to the joke, I want to share the laugh that Dad brought home yesterday. He works as an electrician, and so he gets to work in a variety of construction areas. Today, he brought home informational tags from the job site. It is a good thing someone thought of a system to clarify things. There are situations where clearly, there is no correct choice.
Now, onto the joke!
Teacher's gifts
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"
....
Have a good Thursday. May your Friday come swiftly and pleasantly, and may your weekend be long and luxurious.
EDIT: I wrote this blog Wednesday night and scheduled it to come up Thursday morning. I had no way of knowing that I would open Thursday's paper and find a coupon that needed to be added into this blog:
Okay, maybe I'm an easy giggle, but this definitely entertained me enough to go get my camera and then upload one more picture! Polga in Bakersfield... teehee. Let me know if you need the coupon.
Now, onto the joke!
Teacher's gifts
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"
....
Have a good Thursday. May your Friday come swiftly and pleasantly, and may your weekend be long and luxurious.
EDIT: I wrote this blog Wednesday night and scheduled it to come up Thursday morning. I had no way of knowing that I would open Thursday's paper and find a coupon that needed to be added into this blog:
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Quitters never win
There are days when you want to quit. You look at what you are doing with you life and realize how minuscule, inefficient, and meaningless it seems compared to the grand scheme of things.
What you want to quit varies according to the day. Often it is a job. If I remember correctly, working generally consists of 80% insults, 1% positive feedback, and 19% insults you just haven't managed to overhear yet.
I remember as a student, the idea of quitting seemed blissful at times. As a student you spend a majority of your time scrambling to learn something, only to realize next semester that you are scrambling so hard to learn this new subject that you can't remember a thing you learned last semester.
"Being nice" is another occupation that tempts quitting to the extreme. Sure, sometimes, doing the right thing can be gratifying, but often, it means holding the restaurant door for the entire lunch rush because it seems nobody else's mother trained them to take the door as they walk through.
I am ashamed to admit that often "Serving others" is also high on my quitting list, at times. I want to make a positive change, and when I am met with an overwhelming service need, or change is overly resistant, I am quick to throw my hands in the air and claim that my efforts are pointless, that no one would even notice if I did quit, that nobody could truly succeed in this particular effort. It's just a drop of fresh water in this world's ocean; the osmosis takes over, and the ocean engulfs the raindrop as though it never happened.
We want to quit when we are dissatisfied with the results of our efforts. I have realized that I am driven heavily by results, and while this can be a good thing, it is also a foothold for the devil, if I am not careful. I get caught up in the results, rather than the process, in the gratification, rather than the integrity. When I lose my focus like this, I become vulnerable to the voice that says, "Don't bother. Walk away. You're not up to the task. Nobody cares what you do anyway. They're all laughing at you. Other people are taking the easy way out and getting rewarded for it."
Why bother? Going to school is just going to make you a more educated unemployed person with extra debt. It's useless: trying to make friends in a time of life where it seems most people have set their life up just the way they want it, leaving few vacancies. Why buy a homeless person lunch when that one meal is not going to heal an addiction, clean a record, restore hope, provide a job, education, and apartment?...it will just be one meal. Why tithe when 10% of little is even smaller? Why study, you just can't understand it. Don't waste the effort, you cannot calm someone else's storm, you cannot soothe the turmoil of someone else's soul.
What I forget in the midst of this acidic discouragement is that it is not important whether I see the results of my actions. It is not necessary for me to know the justification of obedience. What is important is that I mind my actions and my attitude and make sure that they are righteous. It is important that I find my righteousness in Christ, and that in Christ I find the desire and strength to be obedient, to love without demanding gratitude, to give without the attitude of ownership, to live in such a way that my God is glorified through me, rather than besmirched by me.
Sure, there are some situations that really do need quitting, but most situations just need courage and gumption. I am realizing that in those dark moments of whatever topic that is haunting me, it is when I want to quit the most that I need to rebel against those urges. I need to work harder, fight smarter, focus better, and in a few days, weeks, months, when it does not feel so desperate, I need to re-evaluate the situation. Otherwise, I am saying, "Here, Satan, I tied my heart up on this string, and even put a loophole for your finger, enjoy! Jerk it as you please. There's probably an awesome mud hole filled with broken glass nearby to drag it through." And that just doesn't seem smart... or pleasant.
What is this blog, a cry for help? you ask. No. It is just me reading a lot of books, living a lot of life, and thinking a lot of thought. It is me calling out all those sometimes-wanna-be quitters--including myself-- in situations large and small, and hopefully encouraging us to recenter our focus, and remember what truly matters in the long run.
To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen. Jude 24-25
Thanks for letting me meander.
What you want to quit varies according to the day. Often it is a job. If I remember correctly, working generally consists of 80% insults, 1% positive feedback, and 19% insults you just haven't managed to overhear yet.
I remember as a student, the idea of quitting seemed blissful at times. As a student you spend a majority of your time scrambling to learn something, only to realize next semester that you are scrambling so hard to learn this new subject that you can't remember a thing you learned last semester.
"Being nice" is another occupation that tempts quitting to the extreme. Sure, sometimes, doing the right thing can be gratifying, but often, it means holding the restaurant door for the entire lunch rush because it seems nobody else's mother trained them to take the door as they walk through.
I am ashamed to admit that often "Serving others" is also high on my quitting list, at times. I want to make a positive change, and when I am met with an overwhelming service need, or change is overly resistant, I am quick to throw my hands in the air and claim that my efforts are pointless, that no one would even notice if I did quit, that nobody could truly succeed in this particular effort. It's just a drop of fresh water in this world's ocean; the osmosis takes over, and the ocean engulfs the raindrop as though it never happened.
We want to quit when we are dissatisfied with the results of our efforts. I have realized that I am driven heavily by results, and while this can be a good thing, it is also a foothold for the devil, if I am not careful. I get caught up in the results, rather than the process, in the gratification, rather than the integrity. When I lose my focus like this, I become vulnerable to the voice that says, "Don't bother. Walk away. You're not up to the task. Nobody cares what you do anyway. They're all laughing at you. Other people are taking the easy way out and getting rewarded for it."
Why bother? Going to school is just going to make you a more educated unemployed person with extra debt. It's useless: trying to make friends in a time of life where it seems most people have set their life up just the way they want it, leaving few vacancies. Why buy a homeless person lunch when that one meal is not going to heal an addiction, clean a record, restore hope, provide a job, education, and apartment?...it will just be one meal. Why tithe when 10% of little is even smaller? Why study, you just can't understand it. Don't waste the effort, you cannot calm someone else's storm, you cannot soothe the turmoil of someone else's soul.
What I forget in the midst of this acidic discouragement is that it is not important whether I see the results of my actions. It is not necessary for me to know the justification of obedience. What is important is that I mind my actions and my attitude and make sure that they are righteous. It is important that I find my righteousness in Christ, and that in Christ I find the desire and strength to be obedient, to love without demanding gratitude, to give without the attitude of ownership, to live in such a way that my God is glorified through me, rather than besmirched by me.
Sure, there are some situations that really do need quitting, but most situations just need courage and gumption. I am realizing that in those dark moments of whatever topic that is haunting me, it is when I want to quit the most that I need to rebel against those urges. I need to work harder, fight smarter, focus better, and in a few days, weeks, months, when it does not feel so desperate, I need to re-evaluate the situation. Otherwise, I am saying, "Here, Satan, I tied my heart up on this string, and even put a loophole for your finger, enjoy! Jerk it as you please. There's probably an awesome mud hole filled with broken glass nearby to drag it through." And that just doesn't seem smart... or pleasant.
What is this blog, a cry for help? you ask. No. It is just me reading a lot of books, living a lot of life, and thinking a lot of thought. It is me calling out all those sometimes-wanna-be quitters--including myself-- in situations large and small, and hopefully encouraging us to recenter our focus, and remember what truly matters in the long run.
To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen. Jude 24-25
Thanks for letting me meander.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Four Things for the Fourth Day of the Fourth Month
Whew! I almost missed my chance for four! So, today, blogfriends, you get a double posting.
First thing: I am so very please that the weather is deciding to be sunny more often that gray, mushy, and stormy! I may have been born in winter, but my soul thrives in the warmer days of late spring and summer. Hurrah for flip flops, sandals, skirts, dresses, and not having to tote a heavy jacket everywhere. It just makes me want to ride a bike!
Second thing: I have a book dilemma. I am really enjoying Parrot & Olivier in America and I only have a hundred or so pages left in it, but I really want to start and finish Out of Ashes before this weekend, which means I should probably pause Parrot and Olivier. We shall see how that epic battle turns out.
Third thing: I am really excited about getting to go to a conference by World Impact(The reason for my wanting to finish Out of Ashes this week), and getting to learn about mission opportunities. Plus, I get to ride up with two fun couples from my parents church. I really enjoy them, jackpot!
Fourth thing: I am a big fan of Udi's plain bagels. I think I may have developed an addiction, but they are so good. The outside tastes like it was glazed with butter, the inside tastes and feels like a firm dinner roll. I have to admit, I keep meaning to spread something on them, but I have this awful habit of eating them before they make it to the toaster!
And those are the four random things I could think of for this blog written in 6 minutes. Thanks!
First thing: I am so very please that the weather is deciding to be sunny more often that gray, mushy, and stormy! I may have been born in winter, but my soul thrives in the warmer days of late spring and summer. Hurrah for flip flops, sandals, skirts, dresses, and not having to tote a heavy jacket everywhere. It just makes me want to ride a bike!
Second thing: I have a book dilemma. I am really enjoying Parrot & Olivier in America and I only have a hundred or so pages left in it, but I really want to start and finish Out of Ashes before this weekend, which means I should probably pause Parrot and Olivier. We shall see how that epic battle turns out.
Third thing: I am really excited about getting to go to a conference by World Impact(The reason for my wanting to finish Out of Ashes this week), and getting to learn about mission opportunities. Plus, I get to ride up with two fun couples from my parents church. I really enjoy them, jackpot!
Fourth thing: I am a big fan of Udi's plain bagels. I think I may have developed an addiction, but they are so good. The outside tastes like it was glazed with butter, the inside tastes and feels like a firm dinner roll. I have to admit, I keep meaning to spread something on them, but I have this awful habit of eating them before they make it to the toaster!
And those are the four random things I could think of for this blog written in 6 minutes. Thanks!
Overdue but done: Literacy, 3
Here is the overdue literacy update! I met my goal in time, however, I just didn't manage to sit down and write the blog about it, until now.
I had hoped I would have more to report for March. I had hoped it would be my first 4 book month of the year, but as it turned out, I am easily distracted. The book I thought would be my fourth got interrupted when I found a copy of Lovely Bones in my friend's house while snowed in. At the time, I thought I would be spending an entire week or more snowed into her house, and so I reasoned that it would be better for me to read Lovely Bones and then go back to my book, so that when it was time to leave, the book that I needed to take with me would be my own...however, we got evacuated 16 chapters into Lovely Bones, and I left it at her house. So, sometime in the near future, I will be pursuing another copy of Lovely Bones. Despite this, I did meet both my hard set goal-at least 1 new book a month- and my ideal goal- at least 2 books a month.
Unshaken: Rising from the ruins of Haiti's Hotel Montana by Dan Woolley and Jennifer Schuchmann was the first book to be taken down in March. Dan Woolley was one of the Americans working for Compassion International who got caught in the Haiti earthquake. He and his photography partner had just walked into their hotel lobby, after an entire day traveling around Haiti, when the earthquake hit, and the 6 story hotel collapsed on them. Dan found himself alone, and locked in a prison of shambles. He made the decision to crawl into the open elevator, which very likely saved his life, however, shortly after making it into the elevator, an aftershock hit, and rubble closed him into the elevator, making his safe haven a prison at the same time. Dan spent 65 hours under the hotel, and the book details his survival, but the majority, and best part of the book details what went through his mind, what battered his soul, and what led him up to this point in his life. The book flashes between Dan in the elevator, and Dan's young marriage some ten or twelve years before, and dealing with his wife's sudden onset of severe depression. My Mom posted after reading this book, "Besides being a good read about surviving being trapped in pitch dark for too long under a building it is also a very well written view into the life of depression. I think an especially good read for those who haven't lived it."
Amazingly, as intense and deep as this book can be, it does not feel heavy. There are some books I read that when I finish I am burdened with a lingering heaviness, an after taste of despair, because there was so much deep thought to muddle through. Unshaken has that deep thought, but it did not leave me despaired, in fact, it left me energized with so many thoughts to think. Believe it or not, though the book has its heart wrenching, thought provoking, seat gripping story to tell, it also has hope, and well placed humor. Also, it is a quick read. Its thickness looks somewhat intimidating, but it moves fast.
So, would I recommend Unshaken to you? Most heartily, yes! It is a great book, and though it is written by a Christian, I believe that even my non-Christian friends would enjoy this book.
After Unshaken, I took on Cane River by Lalita Tademy. I was excited, because I love historical fiction. Sci-fi, modern day, political fiction, biographies, commentaries, mysteries are all great types of literature, however to me, reading one of those genres is like visiting some one else's house for the first time: it's fun, it's new, it's interesting, but it's not reflexively comfortable. Reading historical fiction, on the other hand, is like going to Granny's house: a place to walk in, be hugged, kick off your shoes, find a couch with a sunspot warming it, grab a blanket and a bag of potato chips and belong. Because of this comfort and haven I usually find in historic fiction, you must understand that Cane River disappointed me greatly. It was like being at a party, and realizing that while I had been invited, I wasn't really supposed to show up. The book was boring and mechanical. However, I have already written a full blog devoted to my disappointment in this book, and I did give a few positive points, so I will just conclude with this: Would I recommend this book? Definitely, no.
After trudging through Cane River, I decided I deserved some candy reading, and I also realized that throughout this literacy challenge so far, I had not managed to visit some old favorites. This sent me straight to my parent's entryway bookshelf: the storage of all literature to ever be loved by anyone who has lived in that house. What better reward for finishing a dull book than a Dahl book?
The BFG by Roald Dahl has been a favorite of mine for almost as long as I can remember. When we were little, Mom used to pick a book and read them out loud to Jared and I. I don't know if this was mainly done during the summer, but summer evenings are when I remember these reading times happening. One of Mom's favorite authors is Roald Dahl, so usually, the book she picked was Roald Dahl. I think that The BFG quickly became a favorite for Jared and me because it was so funny. I mean, what kid between the ages of 6-11 would not love a book that has an entire chapter devoted to whizzpoppers? (For those of you who do not know, those are farts, and you need to go read The BFG, because that chapter still cracks me up, and you are being greatly deprived of happiness by not reading it.) One thing I love about going back to read books from my childhood is that usually there were comments made about politics and life in general that were just plain hilarious, but I completely missed them when I was younger. I guess perhaps the reason so many of my childhood reads are so enjoyable to the adult me is because often my books were picked/suggested by either my Mom or my Granny, and they like a good chuckle.
For those of you who don't know the plot, young Sophie could not sleep that night at the orphanage, and so she peeked out the window, and saw something she ought not. Soon she was kidnapped by a giant because of this, and the story goes from there, but I refuse to give away any more of the story than I already have!
Should you read The BFG? Yes. If you have never read this book, you need to break all speed limits (as safely and legally as possible) to your nearest book establishment and devour this book. If you have read this book, but not in the past 5 years, should you reread it? I would suggest it! In fact, you will likely see more Roald Dahl books popping up on this blog, because I have realized, I miss those books. I have already snagged Danny Champion of The World off my Mom's shelf for nearby future reading.
What is the reading forecast for April?
Well, I am about a hundred pages away from finishing Parrot & Olivier in America by Peter Carey. I found it in Costco and couldn't resist(I do so love the Costco book section).
I have Danny Champion of the World by Roald Dahl on hand. I also just borrowed Out of the Ashes by Dr. Keith Phillips, which I am hoping to finish before this weekend, but we shall see about that. Then there are the usual suspects that are hanging around my room, getting picked at, here an there.
That's pretty much it, for me. How is your reading?
I had hoped I would have more to report for March. I had hoped it would be my first 4 book month of the year, but as it turned out, I am easily distracted. The book I thought would be my fourth got interrupted when I found a copy of Lovely Bones in my friend's house while snowed in. At the time, I thought I would be spending an entire week or more snowed into her house, and so I reasoned that it would be better for me to read Lovely Bones and then go back to my book, so that when it was time to leave, the book that I needed to take with me would be my own...however, we got evacuated 16 chapters into Lovely Bones, and I left it at her house. So, sometime in the near future, I will be pursuing another copy of Lovely Bones. Despite this, I did meet both my hard set goal-at least 1 new book a month- and my ideal goal- at least 2 books a month.
Unshaken: Rising from the ruins of Haiti's Hotel Montana by Dan Woolley and Jennifer Schuchmann was the first book to be taken down in March. Dan Woolley was one of the Americans working for Compassion International who got caught in the Haiti earthquake. He and his photography partner had just walked into their hotel lobby, after an entire day traveling around Haiti, when the earthquake hit, and the 6 story hotel collapsed on them. Dan found himself alone, and locked in a prison of shambles. He made the decision to crawl into the open elevator, which very likely saved his life, however, shortly after making it into the elevator, an aftershock hit, and rubble closed him into the elevator, making his safe haven a prison at the same time. Dan spent 65 hours under the hotel, and the book details his survival, but the majority, and best part of the book details what went through his mind, what battered his soul, and what led him up to this point in his life. The book flashes between Dan in the elevator, and Dan's young marriage some ten or twelve years before, and dealing with his wife's sudden onset of severe depression. My Mom posted after reading this book, "Besides being a good read about surviving being trapped in pitch dark for too long under a building it is also a very well written view into the life of depression. I think an especially good read for those who haven't lived it."
Amazingly, as intense and deep as this book can be, it does not feel heavy. There are some books I read that when I finish I am burdened with a lingering heaviness, an after taste of despair, because there was so much deep thought to muddle through. Unshaken has that deep thought, but it did not leave me despaired, in fact, it left me energized with so many thoughts to think. Believe it or not, though the book has its heart wrenching, thought provoking, seat gripping story to tell, it also has hope, and well placed humor. Also, it is a quick read. Its thickness looks somewhat intimidating, but it moves fast.
So, would I recommend Unshaken to you? Most heartily, yes! It is a great book, and though it is written by a Christian, I believe that even my non-Christian friends would enjoy this book.
After Unshaken, I took on Cane River by Lalita Tademy. I was excited, because I love historical fiction. Sci-fi, modern day, political fiction, biographies, commentaries, mysteries are all great types of literature, however to me, reading one of those genres is like visiting some one else's house for the first time: it's fun, it's new, it's interesting, but it's not reflexively comfortable. Reading historical fiction, on the other hand, is like going to Granny's house: a place to walk in, be hugged, kick off your shoes, find a couch with a sunspot warming it, grab a blanket and a bag of potato chips and belong. Because of this comfort and haven I usually find in historic fiction, you must understand that Cane River disappointed me greatly. It was like being at a party, and realizing that while I had been invited, I wasn't really supposed to show up. The book was boring and mechanical. However, I have already written a full blog devoted to my disappointment in this book, and I did give a few positive points, so I will just conclude with this: Would I recommend this book? Definitely, no.
After trudging through Cane River, I decided I deserved some candy reading, and I also realized that throughout this literacy challenge so far, I had not managed to visit some old favorites. This sent me straight to my parent's entryway bookshelf: the storage of all literature to ever be loved by anyone who has lived in that house. What better reward for finishing a dull book than a Dahl book?
The BFG by Roald Dahl has been a favorite of mine for almost as long as I can remember. When we were little, Mom used to pick a book and read them out loud to Jared and I. I don't know if this was mainly done during the summer, but summer evenings are when I remember these reading times happening. One of Mom's favorite authors is Roald Dahl, so usually, the book she picked was Roald Dahl. I think that The BFG quickly became a favorite for Jared and me because it was so funny. I mean, what kid between the ages of 6-11 would not love a book that has an entire chapter devoted to whizzpoppers? (For those of you who do not know, those are farts, and you need to go read The BFG, because that chapter still cracks me up, and you are being greatly deprived of happiness by not reading it.) One thing I love about going back to read books from my childhood is that usually there were comments made about politics and life in general that were just plain hilarious, but I completely missed them when I was younger. I guess perhaps the reason so many of my childhood reads are so enjoyable to the adult me is because often my books were picked/suggested by either my Mom or my Granny, and they like a good chuckle.
For those of you who don't know the plot, young Sophie could not sleep that night at the orphanage, and so she peeked out the window, and saw something she ought not. Soon she was kidnapped by a giant because of this, and the story goes from there, but I refuse to give away any more of the story than I already have!
Should you read The BFG? Yes. If you have never read this book, you need to break all speed limits (as safely and legally as possible) to your nearest book establishment and devour this book. If you have read this book, but not in the past 5 years, should you reread it? I would suggest it! In fact, you will likely see more Roald Dahl books popping up on this blog, because I have realized, I miss those books. I have already snagged Danny Champion of The World off my Mom's shelf for nearby future reading.
What is the reading forecast for April?
Well, I am about a hundred pages away from finishing Parrot & Olivier in America by Peter Carey. I found it in Costco and couldn't resist(I do so love the Costco book section).
I have Danny Champion of the World by Roald Dahl on hand. I also just borrowed Out of the Ashes by Dr. Keith Phillips, which I am hoping to finish before this weekend, but we shall see about that. Then there are the usual suspects that are hanging around my room, getting picked at, here an there.
That's pretty much it, for me. How is your reading?
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