Lessons learned so far: Teaching, entry 3

41. Junior high students will do nearly anything for an ink stamp on their paper! Tell them you will give them extra credit for turning in their homework on time, nothing. Give them a stamp on their pages to mark their extra credit, and suddenly every student is clamoring, "Where's my stamp? How do I get a stamp?" and homework turn in rate increases by 60%.

42. Buy cheap stamps. Certain junior high students will steal your stamper no matter where you put it. Especially if it was expensive. Twice.

43. Returning after spring break is like going to the zoo and finding out it's your job to potty train 20 monkeys all at once with time limit of 50 minutes. Expect to be pelted by lots of poop.

44. They grow up. Right in front of you. Not just height, either. Sure, sometimes, you'll turn around and say, "Hey, wait a minute, weren't we the same height yesterday?" Other times you'll look at them and see the eager, bright eyed, quick to please children, desperate for all the attention you can give. Most of the time you'll look at them and see the surly teenagers they intend to be for the next 2-12 years. But, every rare once in a while, you'll see them make a selfless decision, use common sense, deal with a frustrating situation with maturity, use integrity, or show great responsibility, and for that moment you are privileged to see what fantastic adults they might someday be. That's a beautiful moment.

45. You should brag on them. Especially in front of them. Every chance you get. To other students, other teachers, their parents, other kids' parents, your parents. Some students don't have many people in their lives who brag on them for anything, let alone education. Some students have parents who brag on them, but you know kids at their age: what do their parents really know?

46. Even though you'll despise yourself for it every time you do it, tie the current ridiculous heart throb boy bands(currently OneDirection/Justin Bieber) into every concept possible. Something with that much passion behind it, whether loved or hated, will be remembered.

47. Notice every little change for the better, even if it's not yet enough.

48. Learn a long list of positive adjectives and use them often. "You put the erasers away? Have I mentioned how fantastic you are, today? Oh, well then, you're stinking fantastic, thank you! I really appreciate that!"

49. Don't let them get away with stuff. Just because you're being all warm and fuzzy doesn't mean they get to disrupt the class or ignore procedures. Demand perfection, at least then they might achieve acceptable.

50. KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING! Did you ask that student to stop clicking his pen 3 times today? How many times did you ask him yesterday? Last week? It seems frivolous, but it matters.

51. Come up with a system that works with your brain. You can try everyone else's systems, but if you don't adapt them to your brain, you won't use them, and then you'll just be disorganized and ticked off. It may be a perfect system for Mr. So and So, but if it doesn't work for you and you can't adapt it, it's crap, get rid of it.

52. Try stuff. It doesn't matter if it's the middle of the semester, quarter, week, or day. If something could use improvement and you come up with or hear an idea you think has merit, don't save it for next year. Plan a little, find the perfect moment, explain what's going to happen, and then do it. If it works, dance for joy. If it doesn't work, try it again. If it doesn't work again, adapt it a little, try it again. After that, maybe set it aside for more tinkering at a later date.

53. Stick with new things. Don't just try it once and then throw it out if it went bad. If you introduce something new, the students will balk because "we've never done this before!" Explain it clearly and confidently. Give it a week. Let them understand classroom=ship, students=crew, teacher=captain, mutiny is not an option, plank walking and keelhauling are, though. Usually, they catch on and even appreciate it, after they have learned that no amount of kicking and screaming will be rewarded.

54. They have to try the kicking and screaming thing every time just to make sure it won't work this time.

55. Remember to love them. This may sound funny, but honestly, sometimes they will drive you to the brink of insanity, and if you forget that you love them, you'll start to hate them. You knew when you signed up that junior high students are crazy people. If you love the crazy people, they're easier to tolerate when they're about to push you over the edge.

56. Always, always, always, always, always, ALWAYS have your OBJECTIVE, subject specific vocabulary, standards, and EL standards in prime condition, posted visibly and ready for superintendent inspection. The day you don't have one of those items in prime condition will be the day 5 people from the superintendents' office will decide to sit in your room for 2.5 periods and take lots of notes.

57. Bring Cadbury Cream eggs to the office ladies. Office ladies control a lot. They have many opportunities to giveth and taketh away. They like chocolate. And Cadbury eggs are only 4 weight watcher points, so they won't hate you for bringing a treat they can't have.

58. Don't leave your Cadbury's in the car. If you do, though, the office ladies will still appreciate them, lopsided and all.
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60. When the maintenance people back their golf cart into its parking spot 12 feet from the classroom door, it sounds like the distant ring of the fire alarm (which, if you recall from entry 1, can barely be heard in this classroom). Even though they know it's the golf cart, they'll still protest multiple times: "We're all going to burn to a crisp while everyone else is out standing in the soccer field talking to each other!!!!"  The scary thing is, they're actually more upset that other students might be socializing without them than they are about the idea of being burnt "to a crisp." Oh, the junior high mindset... Be glad you are only surrounded by it, and no long have to live in it!