The child I didn't choose

Let me tell you the basic story of Alok Nath.  By March 2009, I had been sponsoring Liline for 6 months.  Sponsoring her made me more aware of some of the more frivolous choices I made with my money.  For example, everyday, on my way to the office, I bought a coffee from my favorite place, The Filling Station. I was surprised to realize that amount of money tallied by month could easily sponsor another child.  This bothered me.  I had thought about it for a few months before March had come. There were times when I wanted to blow these thoughts off. I like coffee. I hate working in offices, clearly that makes coffee mandatory, right? Other times I thought, well, I'll just stop drinking coffee, but then, that money I was spending, but had stopped spending was still being just as useless. I tried looking for a child to sponsor, but the second time through, I was just overwhelmed by the number of kids needing sponsors, and there did not seem to be a child who stood out to me.  Finally, I called and told Compassion International to give me the kid who needed a sponsor most. And then waited... I don't know how long I waited. I think it was just a day. However long it was in hours, I am pretty sure the minutes could have been measured in years before a new child finally showed up on my Compassion account.  I actually called Mom on my break and asked her to check my account for me, because there was no personal internet access at work, and I was not about to provide an opportunity for job loss.  She said there was a new child there. He is 5 and from India: Alok Nath...  While I am glad for Mom's willingness to read off the information to me, I think it made the rest of my work day longer.  On the drive home I stopped at my family's house, because it was a 5 mile shorter drive to a computer than going all the way to my house!  I quickly pulled up my account, and there was Alok Nath:

 

When I had tried to pick a child, I had probably scanned past his photo multiple times.  Honestly, he was not a child who would have caught my eye, first, because he was 5.  I generally leave the cute young ones to the other sponsors.  I was excited to get to know my little man though, and had to adjust my writing for a 5 year old.

Scan forward to 7 months later. I had still not received a first letter from Alok. Having sponsored Liline for a year by this point, I knew that this was not normal. I called Compassion, and they sent an inquiry into the field. A month later, I received a jotted down version of a first letter from the project. I was not impressed, but I was hoping that it was just that someone had misplaced paperwork and were quickly covering their mistake.

Little did I know that Alok was going to be my "trouble child."  Giving up the daily coffee was nothing compared to waiting so many months for each letter to appear, and with each letter, the information was so vague and contradicting.  I knew that it was not Alok's fault, because he is just a child, he doesn't even write his own letters yet. It was the fault of the adults in charge. Something was wrong with his project.  This, my friends, is not the normal way Compassion International is run, that is why I knew in my gut, something was wrong. 

By the time a year had passed, I had sent Alok several financial gifts. According to Compassion rules, a sponsor should hear about the use of every gift they send. I had heard nothing.  Finally, I called Compassion again and made my concerns known.  Compassion agreed with my concerns and sent and inquiry into the field.  A few months later, I received photographs of a few of the past gifts I had sent.  Another rule about gifts is that every gift purchased with sponsor money must have a photo on file with the child in the photo to verify that the money is being used as it is supposed to. (though, a sponsor does not have to receive a photo) The items must be easily identified in the photo.

Again, my gut said, "Something is not right."  Can you see the clothing that Alok bought with his birthday present? Me neither.  All 3 of the photos of gifts that I was sent in response to my inquiry were packed this way, in opaque bags, or unlabeled cardboard boxes, all claiming to be clothing I cannot see.  I think the photos were staged.

At this point many of you are wondering, why are you still sponsoring through Compassion?!  I need to clarify.  I have been sponsoring through Compassion International for three years now.  Compassion is an honest charity that works hard to prove financial integrity, and puts many checks and balances in to make sure the projects are following their regulations.  I sponsor three kids.  Alok's situation was an anomaly. You may wonder why I did not drop Alok's sponsorship. Trust me, I thought about it.  Then, I also thought about the fact that Alok is just a (at this point in the story) 6 year old boy. He is not the one making bad decisions.  I realized that Alok, out of my 3 children, was the child who needed a sponsor the most.  The other two had dependable projects they could turn to.  It seemed that right now it was possible that Alok only had me as an advocate, and I could not bring myself to walk away from him.  Somehow, without any real input on his part, I realized that I love Alok.  Because of the correspondence relationship between sponsor and child, the sponsor is the first one to see warning signs.  

This was when I became that annoying sponsor.  I called Compassion about the photos, and explained that they were not right, that there is clearly something wrong with this project.  The response I got over the phone was an instant fix, and all the problems were solved.  Not quite. I was quite frustrated after the call. I did not feel that the Compassion representatives understood the seriousness of the situation I was placing before them. 

Then, later I heard through the grapevine that a prayer request had gone out from somewhere inside the works of Compassion for two East Indian projects that were having a hard time finding "committed staff" and I knew in my heart(at least I really hoped), one of those projects was Alok's.  

Then, I received another photo, this one of the most recent gift I had bought Alok's family.  Opening the envelope, I had no real expectations of satisfaction. And then:

a murmur of hope stirred in my heart. Previously, every gift I had sent to Alok had been claimed to have been spent on clothing, no matter what the amount, and you saw one of the photos of "proof" of clothing.  This photo, however, is not clothing! It is a watering pump for the family's crops! And it is not in an opaque plastic bag or wrong sized cardboard box. And that is Alok's family, smiling.  I thought, maybe something is turning around in this project. Maybe it won't close soon. Maybe there is hope for Alok's future.

March 2011, Alok is 7 years old, and it was almost exactly 2 years after I sponsored him. I received a letter written on "My first letter" stationary.  The information written on that letter is not vague like the correspondence of the past 2 years, it is detailed to the individual: family members' names and ages, his favorite color is green and his favorite food is rice dal.  The prayer request dictated to the helper writing for Alok was this: Please pray for my family, and also pray for me so that I can complete my studies.  

And suddenly, I wondered, during all this time I was worrying about whether the project was running correctly, was my little Alok seeing the misuse of funds and realizing his chance at an educated future--a future with more opportunities than his parents could have dreamed to want--was slipping through careless fingers?  As alarming as it was to be on my side of this "project reform" it must have felt despairing to Alok, who was seeing it in person.

I was really hoping this second first letter as the new project staff's way of saying "let's wipe this slate clean, and do it right."

April 11, 2011, I found another letter from Alok.  I need to make sure that you have not missed this in this long history of 2 years: I only receive a letter from Alok once every 4 months, if we are lucky.  These two most recent letters, however are less that a month apart!  

The letter was from a person who was listening to Alok tell them what to write. I know this because last year, an acquaintance of mine went to East India to meet her sponsored child, and offered to meet Alok as well.

She took him to a science museum, and bought him lunch and gave him gifts I had sent with her, and returned to me with stories, video and photos of the day.  The letter I received from Alok yesterday was detailing Alok's opinion of the trip! He really enjoyed it, but he did not like the Pepsi, but he also feels sorry that he threw the Pepsi away. He had seen trains before, but he had never been able to ride one(He had to ride a train from his village to the city where he was meeting my friend).

I really feel like Compassion International has really managed to turn this project around.  I am glad of this.  I am not willing to say we are out of the woods just yet, because I know Compassion's process with below standard projects. First the project is warned, and then checked on again, if the issue is not fixed, they try retraining the project, getting new staff, whatever it takes to make the project live up to the integrity of Compassion's name.  After many attempts, if the project is still failing whether due to lack of cooperation or lack of ability, the project is then closed. Compassion will try to move the kids into neighboring projects if there are any nearby, so that the children will not lose the benefits.

I am hoping and praying that Alok's project really has turned around, not only so the project will not close, but so that Alok can truly receive the benefits of being sponsored.  Throughout the two years I have had with this boy, he is the child that I have been able to establish the least relationship with. Relationship is hard when communication is one way, but he is also the child who has gained a majority of my prayers, and the child my heart has wrapped itself tightly around.  It is strange,  I know that my girls are close to my heart as well. I even know that they are embraced much the same way Alok is, but because I have felt that Alok has needed it more in his silence, he has taken possession of a portion of my heart that neither of the girls have needed.

I love this boy that I never would have picked. I hope and pray he does far more than complete his studies!

Note: I just wanted to add this in- It may seem that there are a lot of negative things in this blog. This is not the ordinary experience with Compassion International, in fact, in the full length of this post, it is positive light on Compassion, as I am able to witness the work they put into taking care of children and making sure the projects are being honorable in this mission. Compassion International is a very worthwhile organization, and if you are wanting to help a child receive the basics of life so that they have the opportunity to break the cycle of poverty, this is the organization for you!