I don't have time to shower.

Send Febreeze.

Hopefully, most of you haven't noticed the smell(which might be solely because I haven't been around often enough for you to sniff). 

TMI statement aside, just felt the need to spend a little bit of my procrastination time updating my blog. "I don't have time to shower!" is actually a thought I caught myself thinking recently. It stopped me in my tracks. What did I just think? Ridiculous! I love hot showers!

But, in reality, it's the truth. Between running from teaching, to running to credentialing classes, to doing homework, to mad dashes to the grocery store to find food for lunch, to grading homework, to doing homework, lessons plans, to observations, observation meetings, PLCs, CSTs, IEPs, SATs, CFAs, COIs, SOS!

My life has become such that I've found myself having to schedule my shower late into the wee hours of the morning, and having to force myself to actually maintain the appointment, rather than crawling directly into bed. That is the kind of life I'm leading. Not only am I spending 40 hours a week with junior highers, I may be beginning to smell like them as well.

All in all, though, I would have to say I am surviving pretty well. While I am so crazy busy that my dishes could get the CPS called on me if I had kids, my laundry tempts me to order new clothes on Amazon, and other such absurdities, there is not the nauseating, meltdowning, hyperventilating panic that I have experienced in the past due to high stress. I know my students. I have a feel for the school works. I'm comfortable in my classroom, the school disciplinary measures, and in my teacher self. My students are usually improving, and when they aren't, they aren't far from the other 8th grade students' performances.

Suggest that I am not making enough time for something, should be doing something better, paying more attention to this or that, or that I should devote more time to something else, and rest assured, I will cease to speak to you until at least summer, but the balance, while precarious and exhausted to it's full capabilities, is not currently a death defying act. I sleep without stress induced terrors, I wake without nerve induced nausea, I usually eat lunch every day... I am surviving with my soul in tact.

So, just in case you were wondering. That's how life's going right now. Good. Busy. I miss my friends and my hobbies, and nap time, but the blessings are bountiful, the learning overfloweth, and someday, I will again have time to stand in the shower until the hot water runs completely out. Until then, I'll pay close attention to my schedule so as not to forget such important appointments, and increase my stores of deodorant and baby wipes just in case.

If you're praying for me, thanks. It helps.

Lessons learned so far: Teaching, entry 2

21. Take all drills seriously. Really, really.

22. You can't please everybody, when you're working on practicing academic skills,  someone will whine about not doing enough labs. When you get a really cool lab going, someone will whine for worksheets. (Worksheets?!)

23.They'll call every single bluff you make, so you have to make every single bluff they call. Be cool with that.

24. You can get tired of chilli beans for lunch. If you assign lunch detention though, odds are you won't wind up eating the chilli, and then you can pack chilli 3 days in a row, and only actually have to eat it once. Problem solved... ish?

25. Student aides are still great.

26. Shower wall paneling is not the same material as whiteboard. It just looks like it. It writes like it, too. However, it does NOT erase like it. (This is mainly the reason student aides are great)

27. When you make the students do classwork during a drill while they sit under their desks, your reputation as a mean teacher grows rapidly. Own it.

28. Paper is evil. When you need to print on it, it will not be there. When you need to use your desk, it will hold the desk hostage in large masses until you file it.

29. It is easy to get total participation in a "Thumbs Up" question, if the question is either "Thumbs up if you hate Mondays"  "Thumbs up if you didn't want to get out of bed this morning" or "Thumbs up if you are happy it's Friday."

30. #29, though started somewhat in a goofy mood actually works really well for jump starting a halfhearted class or focusing an overly energetic class. Go figure.

31. Candy works if #30 fails.

32. If you ask students if they brought you homework as they walk through the door daily and incessantly, eventually some of them will crack and bring it in. Go figure.

33. If you tell students that every time you see a mechanical pencil "a little part of my soul dies" you'll notice more mechanical pencils appear in the days to come. You will also notice students raise their mechanical pencils, look you in the eye, and click it with a maniacal eyebrow wiggle. Learn to love maniacs, and replenish your soul often.

34. Always review your seating chart. There are some that will never give up trying to sit in the worst partnership combo possible, so you should never give up checking that chart vindictively.

35. Whether or not they know, every public schooled student wants to be homeschooled in some way. They want you to stop at their desk, lean over, smile, and ask them how they are doing. They want to be able to mold their lessons into something that intrigues them individually. They want to be trusted to be responsible with their work, while being offered occasional support/nagging. They want to be given choices in their learning. While they are comfortable with the ease of worksheets, they really want to to be forced to think, even if it takes a lot of force to get them there. They want someone to look them in the eyes and say, "You struggle with this? There's nothing wrong with you, it just means you need a new angle of approach, try this one." They want someone to be intentionally proud of their achievements based on who they are, not how they compare to their class. In relation to that, they want you to be individually aware of when they do not succeed, and they want you to expect better of them, individually. That's a lot of work. It's worth it, though.

36. Any lab you bring in that the students can eat in the end will ensure full enthusiasm and participation from the students.

37. Any lab that should not be eaten at the end will probably end up in their mouths anyway.

38. In a lab involving icing, you do not need to worry about spills, or sticky surfaces. Junior high students have ways to insure not a lick of it goes to waste.

39. Something to consider: If a drop of icing falls on the floor, a junior high student may actually lick the floor. Use this information however it may sway you.

40. Students who understand your lesson quickly at the first exposure make your job easy. Students who completely don't get it, get frustrated to tears, need the concept explained seven different ways, make you give up so many minutes and meals of your "student-free" time explaining it one more time, and then, one day, finally get it, make your job rewarding.

Lessons learned so far: Teaching

1. Always have handfuls of activity ideas that can be applied to practically any subject. Because standing there on a day when the assembly is canceled, with 15-30 minutes to spare and no actual activity planned for this slot of time is really awkward. (Bonus tidbit: "Quiz, Quiz, Trade" is an almost entirely fool proof back-up trick)

2. No plan is fool proof.

3. Put homework instructions at the beginning of  class. Fire alarms go off frequently

4. You can't hear the fire alarm. They're working on that. It makes you look really bad, though.

5. Junior high students are generally incapable of thinking of cause and effect if it extends beyond the next 30 seconds. You have to put a pair of consequences in place for them, one that happens in the next 30 seconds, and the real one.

6. Junior high students do not believe there are consequences for anything. And if there are, they are for other people. Especially other junior high students.

7. If a junior high student was told that he must stop talking, or his dominant hand would be cut off, there would be a lot of new lefties in the world, and a few new righties. (Please refer to lessons 5 and 6)

8. You don't have to read every piece of homework.

9. You cannot be a private tutor to every student in the class, during class. You have to make it worth their while to take instruction as a group, partly by stepping up the entertainment value, and partly by letting them learn the hard lessons a few times.

10. Junior high students have extremely short memories. It means that when things didn't go right in a lesson, the next day is nearly entirely a clean slate.

11. There are 2 kinds of trouble-makers: The attention-seekers and the power seekers.

12. Catch the attention seekers doing right, give them special jobs so that you can praise them.
Give the power seekers duties. If that doesn't work, get them out of the room long enough for you to get the rest of the class in the right rhythm so power isn't as easy to seize.

13. Don't underestimate the power of choices. "You have the option to work cooperatively with your teammates, or be sent out and work on the same project alone. Please make the best decision." works WAAAAAY better than "Work with your team now."

14. Don't sit on chocolate chips. They melt.

15. Get a student aide. It's great.

16. Call parents. Early and often.

17. Never forget yard duty week.

18. Very few lessons will actually be able to be completed during Red Ribbon Week.

19. Ask a lot of questions, in class and out.

20. Don't tell the kids there are dead bodies in the filing room that connects your room to 2 other classrooms. It really bothers them when the lights go on in there and silhouettes start moving around silently behind the frosted window.

Gluten free: Elephant Bar Update

I have noticed that many people are searching on Google for "Gluten Free Elephant Bar" and they keep finding my old post. Elephant Bar is a place that changes their menu and dishes often, so my old post is out dated.

More recently, the Elephant Bar has placed 2 gluten free options on their regular menu: Fire-Grilled Lemon Garlic Chicken Breast, and Fire-Grilled Rainbow Trout. These are found somewhere near the back of the menu. I had the chicken last time. It was very good. You'll have to ask someone else about the fish, as I really do not like fish.

As they state on their  menu, you should definitely let them know about your sensitivity so that they can take special precautions.

Also, make sure your information is up to date. What is gluten free at the Elephant Bar today (January 4, 2013) may not be gluten free tomorrow, and I am in no way affiliated with Elephant Bar, I don't have the inside track, and I am not a doctor. Make sure you are doing what is best for you.

Proverbs 14:1

The wise woman builds her house,

but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Happy New Year.

 

Out of reach

He's gone.
Well, not really.
He's still out there. He still exists.

Alok circa age 5-6

I'm just not his sponsor any more. Alok's project was closed, due to issues that did not align with Compassion's policies. He is out of my reach. The little reach that I had.

During the waiting period after finding out that it was likely to happen, I wrote Alok many "last letters" saying things that I wanted to make sure someone would tell him at least one more time in his life.

He may stay a little boy forever in my mind, but it would make me happiest to believe he grew up, that those few years he had were enough to direct him into a lifetime of growing up.


His pictures are still displayed on my wall. It makes me sad to think that there will be no more infrequent letters to update me on his life, no new picture in a year, showing his awkward growth spurt, and his determined face, and he will no longer receive letters telling him how much I love his determination, how handsome he is, or Christmas or birthday presents. Losing Alok is something I have been preparing myself to handle for a while now, but there are those pangs of sadness, those moments when I find the perfect little gift for him, or start mentally writing him a letter.

But he is not dead. It is weird, mourning the loss of someone who is still alive. Probably, to many minds, weirder still to mourn the loss of someone who has never been mine to lose. It's not something I really could explain anyway. I have no rights to him, no ability to protect him, but from the first day his picture appeared on my account, he has always been "my boy" complete with scuffed knees, and brief letters.

He was the first child to ever call me Auntie. He did so on a video that a fellow sponsor took of him when she was in India and took him to a science museum.

He was so thrilled by the museum. Alok was entranced by the aquarium. Every time I visit a museum, I wish he was there with me.

He once told me that his favorite thing about being at the Compassion project was the food, the games, and that no one beat him there. It relieved and broke my heart all at once.

The first real smile I got from him in a picture was with the second soccer ball he got as a gift from me. Ever since then, I've had this mental picture of him tearing up the dirt after his soccer ball full speed and determination, getting coated in dirt, earning those knee scuffs.

I'll miss my boy. I miss him already. I keep praying for him. I pray that God will wrap around him tightly, and protect him. I pray that Alok will passionately love and serve God. I pray that he will treat women with kindness and respect. I pray that he will not be taken in by the alcohol addictions so rampant in his area. I pray that God will protect him and comfort him beyond any beatings he may still endure.

He is out of my reach, but never out of God's. That is one of the hardest things to remember about life in general. It's easier to remember when it is the only option to accept.






Alok, never forget that you are valuable. God values you. I value you. You are loved and so very loveable. I pray that there are so many more in your life who feel the same way.











 Play hard, my boy. Grow up strong, Alok.

Grow up kind and godly. Grow up wise and filled with integrity. Grow up compassionate and inspired.

Most of all, keep growing up.

Thank you for your sponsorship of Alok Nath

"Our staff in East India recently indicated that the child development center Alok attends has not been able to meet all of Compassion's standards for ministering to children in need. We've been working to address these issues over the last 90 days, but have yet to come to a resolve. However, we are hopeful that we will come to a resolution in the next 60 days."
From the moment I read the "Thank you for your sponsorship of Alok"  my heart creaked, crackled, and warned of breakage. Some of you may remember that I have known in my spirit that Alok's center has been at risk for a long time. Recently, they were showing strides of improving, more recently, however I noticed they seemed to be falling back to old habits a little more.
I want Compassion to be careful with our money, I want them to insure that only projects that are running properly are being allow to stay in Compassion. If they close Alok's project, I know that it was not for lack of trying to save it first, and I think that is the best action, if it comes to that.

However.

My Alok.

My sweet boy.

The one who has a smile, but rarely uses it.

Who plays soccer, and studies hard.

The boy my heart wraps around.

My most difficult sponsorship yet.

What will he do? Where will he go? The project is so remote, if it closes, I doubt he can be transferred to a new one.

I pray they can get staff who are willing to lead the project Compassion's way, with God and love as their fuel and fire. I pray that no matter what, God will shelter Alok Nath.

             I received this beautiful smiling picture of Alok a few months ago, I had been waiting to share it until I could write a blog about it.

I need to write a preemptive farewell letter to Alok, now, just in case.

If it closes, Alok and I will be on the opposite sides of the world, sharing broken hearts.